i can do this on my own
you get used to the guilt
the bed doesn't seem empty anymore
it just swallows you up to keep you warm
i don't feel lonely anymore
i feel relieved
no more tears and no more fears
i only answer to myself
i'm no longer held up to someone else's impossible standards
i have everything i need
i feel lighter
i think clearer without all your hot air surrounding me
i've reflected enough on the why
i'm doing myself proud
other people's happiness doesn't drag me down
life just got simpler
i smile to myself more often
don't feel sorry for me
i've finally set myself free
i no longer hold on to the cliches
this is paradise
i got all my stuff just the way i want it
the toilet seat is always down
i'm a big girl now
i can do this on my own and damn i do it good
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Saturday, February 8, 2014
The Sun Revolves
baby, look around you, i built this world for you.
don't listen to those scientific fools,
the sun revolves around you!
the blue sky, these tree's and the birds singing are all here for you.
I know God exists and he's brilliant because he created you.
no worries or fears my dear,
because the sun revolves around you!
the stars are infinite with a light that never ends,
just like the sparkle in your eyes that brighten every body's day.
the moon reflects upon your face and no darkness can stop the force of your happiness.
no stress or frowns, my sweet man,
because this sun revolves around you.
don't listen to those scientific fools,
the sun revolves around you!
the blue sky, these tree's and the birds singing are all here for you.
I know God exists and he's brilliant because he created you.
no worries or fears my dear,
because the sun revolves around you!
the stars are infinite with a light that never ends,
just like the sparkle in your eyes that brighten every body's day.
the moon reflects upon your face and no darkness can stop the force of your happiness.
no stress or frowns, my sweet man,
because this sun revolves around you.
Friday, September 20, 2013
All of Mine
the slowness of a flame burning out.
the hole that gets dug too deep to fill.
the darkness that sends a chill up your spine.
the denial you cling to like a life preserver.
i felt it before i could see it.
we had passion and fire.
we burned brighter then a five alarm forest fire.
one day hot then the next day remote.
i had part of your heart, but baby i gave you all of mine!
the somber tones of a funeral dirge.
the ominous blues of a stormy summer sky.
the sudden drop in temperature as winter unfolds.
the hope you're wrong is strong.
i heard it in your voice before i saw you shut the door.
we had chemistry and joy.
we connected on levels envied by the heavens.
one day we were in sync the next day not even on the same page.
i had part of your heart, but baby you took all of mine!
the ordinary rut of the day.
the prayers you'll come back someday.
the loneliness strangling your happiness to death.
the loss of motivation to breathe.
i can still hear the echo of your car door closing.
we had love and friendship.
i knew the best how can i ever live without that.
this broken heart isn't even mine to keep.
i had a part of your heart, but baby you still have all of mine!
the hole that gets dug too deep to fill.
the darkness that sends a chill up your spine.
the denial you cling to like a life preserver.
i felt it before i could see it.
we had passion and fire.
we burned brighter then a five alarm forest fire.
one day hot then the next day remote.
i had part of your heart, but baby i gave you all of mine!
the somber tones of a funeral dirge.
the ominous blues of a stormy summer sky.
the sudden drop in temperature as winter unfolds.
the hope you're wrong is strong.
i heard it in your voice before i saw you shut the door.
we had chemistry and joy.
we connected on levels envied by the heavens.
one day we were in sync the next day not even on the same page.
i had part of your heart, but baby you took all of mine!
the ordinary rut of the day.
the prayers you'll come back someday.
the loneliness strangling your happiness to death.
the loss of motivation to breathe.
i can still hear the echo of your car door closing.
we had love and friendship.
i knew the best how can i ever live without that.
this broken heart isn't even mine to keep.
i had a part of your heart, but baby you still have all of mine!
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
The Hope
the hope is what hurts the most.
the feeling arises and infuses you with new energy.
the fall from hope deflated wrecks the hardiest of souls.
the hope left me broken.
the joy drained from my body.
my face reflected pure disappointment.
the hope had been what i had lived for.
pain rips my heart apart.
the spring has gone dry!
the hope was all i needed and you made damn sure you took that too!
the hope built me up on a house of cards.
i'd smile at random thoughts of happiness.
you gave me moments to nurse my hopes.
your little notes fed my hopes and they had grown to epic proportions.
the hope couldn't last.
like your love it was false.
now i sit alone in the coldness of despair.
i'm in withdrawal from hope's sweet bliss.
it's hard to see past this.
i once had hope and now i don't;
that's what hurts the most.
the feeling arises and infuses you with new energy.
the fall from hope deflated wrecks the hardiest of souls.
the hope left me broken.
the joy drained from my body.
my face reflected pure disappointment.
the hope had been what i had lived for.
pain rips my heart apart.
the spring has gone dry!
the hope was all i needed and you made damn sure you took that too!
the hope built me up on a house of cards.
i'd smile at random thoughts of happiness.
you gave me moments to nurse my hopes.
your little notes fed my hopes and they had grown to epic proportions.
the hope couldn't last.
like your love it was false.
now i sit alone in the coldness of despair.
i'm in withdrawal from hope's sweet bliss.
it's hard to see past this.
i once had hope and now i don't;
that's what hurts the most.
Friday, May 18, 2012
The Harder We Love
you are my purpose. my light gravitates to yours.
you and i entwined in passion's embrace erasing our past mistakes.
it feels good to hurt this way. i ache when you're away.
your kisses hold the cure. your touch purifies my soul.
together we achieve nirvana on an earthly plane.
light fills our empty spaces and the dark shadows are chased away.
there's power in our love. we've only scratched the surface.
the closer we become the deeper we trust. the harder we love!
you are my heart. my being vibrates with joy when you are near.
you and i talking about the day chases our blues away.
it amazes me how well we are in tune. i compliment you.
your energy energizes my lethargic ways.
together the world cannot help but bow to our demands.
love overcomes the most hateful of souls and we gain control.
there's no shame in our emotions. we show them proudly, like a badge of honor.
the more we proclaim our love for each other the deeper we care. the harder we love!
you are my need. my happiness depends on yours.
you and i laughing at nothing satisfies me.
it feels like the first time every time we touch.
your desire for me jolted me out of my misery. you awakened me.
together we ignite each other's fires.
luck brought us together and we've never looked back.
there's magic in our chemistry. time can't destroy us.
the faster we explore each other the deeper we become inside the other. the harder we love!
you and i entwined in passion's embrace erasing our past mistakes.
it feels good to hurt this way. i ache when you're away.
your kisses hold the cure. your touch purifies my soul.
together we achieve nirvana on an earthly plane.
light fills our empty spaces and the dark shadows are chased away.
there's power in our love. we've only scratched the surface.
the closer we become the deeper we trust. the harder we love!
you are my heart. my being vibrates with joy when you are near.
you and i talking about the day chases our blues away.
it amazes me how well we are in tune. i compliment you.
your energy energizes my lethargic ways.
together the world cannot help but bow to our demands.
love overcomes the most hateful of souls and we gain control.
there's no shame in our emotions. we show them proudly, like a badge of honor.
the more we proclaim our love for each other the deeper we care. the harder we love!
you are my need. my happiness depends on yours.
you and i laughing at nothing satisfies me.
it feels like the first time every time we touch.
your desire for me jolted me out of my misery. you awakened me.
together we ignite each other's fires.
luck brought us together and we've never looked back.
there's magic in our chemistry. time can't destroy us.
the faster we explore each other the deeper we become inside the other. the harder we love!
Monday, May 7, 2012
Supermoon
i confess my love to you with anxious breath.
i wait for your response, breathlessly, for you to talk.
then you break the silence with i'm falling for you too.
happiness replaces my fear and i feel like i've taken flight.
frenzied kisses and hugs embrace our newly declared love.
there's technicalities everywhere.
there's baggage to be lifted out of the way,
but i'm willing to do the heavy lifting to keep you.
now i know you love me too! you love me too!
i knew from the first phone call you were different.
you want to disappear into us like i do.
we both show each other our insecurities.
we are exchanging our deepest secrets.
we fit together so perfectly, it's a little scary!
i spend all my seconds with you on my mind.
my body aches to feel you inside.
love has never felt so alive!
i'd do anything for just one kiss.
i feel possessive.
i want you to be mine until the end of time!
we're attempting to create a new life together.
you love to be intimate with me.
and i revel in every touch!
my body is ready for you at the sound of your name.
this love cannot be tamed.
tonight we'll make love outside under the supermoon on your kid's trampoline.
you'll fill me with your seed.
the two of us, naked, covered in the sweat of our love's labors.
we will make a memory that will last forever!
i wait for your response, breathlessly, for you to talk.
then you break the silence with i'm falling for you too.
happiness replaces my fear and i feel like i've taken flight.
frenzied kisses and hugs embrace our newly declared love.
there's technicalities everywhere.
there's baggage to be lifted out of the way,
but i'm willing to do the heavy lifting to keep you.
now i know you love me too! you love me too!
i knew from the first phone call you were different.
you want to disappear into us like i do.
we both show each other our insecurities.
we are exchanging our deepest secrets.
we fit together so perfectly, it's a little scary!
i spend all my seconds with you on my mind.
my body aches to feel you inside.
love has never felt so alive!
i'd do anything for just one kiss.
i feel possessive.
i want you to be mine until the end of time!
we're attempting to create a new life together.
you love to be intimate with me.
and i revel in every touch!
my body is ready for you at the sound of your name.
this love cannot be tamed.
tonight we'll make love outside under the supermoon on your kid's trampoline.
you'll fill me with your seed.
the two of us, naked, covered in the sweat of our love's labors.
we will make a memory that will last forever!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
In Between
i'm sitting here thinking about my life.
there's been so many up's and down's.
i've had high's and low's around every guy,
but lately, i feel hung up in between heartbreak and happiness.
there's no tears or screams this time.
i got all i need and most of what i wanted.
i'm tired of reaching beyond my means.
i may not have everything but i'm in between rich and poor.
the quiet surrounds me and i'm content.
i've gotten used to the mundane.
there's nothing wrong with me.
i enjoy the moments of solitude.
i like being in between over and under whelmed.
some would complain that all the passion is gone,
but i adore the peace in my heart.
no amount of money could buy me this mellow groove.
i dance around humming an upbeat melody.
i'm going to savor every in between day!
hurry me up or slow me down,
i'm not going to complain.
there's a complacent tone in my soul.
there's a smile on my face.
so you can be in between my good side and bad side,
and i won't get mad.
the holy spirit isn't whispering to me today.
my thoughts are coming at a good pace.
i've got my time lined up nice and neat.
i'll stay in between busy and bored this week.
you might joke about my obliviousness.
i'd walk past a fire in complete calm.
i'm centered and complete.
if i could stay in between heaven and hell for the rest of my life,
i'd be okay!
there's been so many up's and down's.
i've had high's and low's around every guy,
but lately, i feel hung up in between heartbreak and happiness.
there's no tears or screams this time.
i got all i need and most of what i wanted.
i'm tired of reaching beyond my means.
i may not have everything but i'm in between rich and poor.
the quiet surrounds me and i'm content.
i've gotten used to the mundane.
there's nothing wrong with me.
i enjoy the moments of solitude.
i like being in between over and under whelmed.
some would complain that all the passion is gone,
but i adore the peace in my heart.
no amount of money could buy me this mellow groove.
i dance around humming an upbeat melody.
i'm going to savor every in between day!
hurry me up or slow me down,
i'm not going to complain.
there's a complacent tone in my soul.
there's a smile on my face.
so you can be in between my good side and bad side,
and i won't get mad.
the holy spirit isn't whispering to me today.
my thoughts are coming at a good pace.
i've got my time lined up nice and neat.
i'll stay in between busy and bored this week.
you might joke about my obliviousness.
i'd walk past a fire in complete calm.
i'm centered and complete.
if i could stay in between heaven and hell for the rest of my life,
i'd be okay!
Better
tied to a butterfly's wings my anxiety flies away.
the wind and rain pound onto my heart in vain.
my strength waivers at times but i maintain i matter.
today i feel better!
happiness has never defined my life.
my personality teeters between crazy and crazier.
i give each man i love all i got but it ain't ever enough.
today i'll do better!
mood swings and personal demons take their toll.
i'm hard to like and harder to love.
the medication only destroys what makes me shine.
today i'll be better!
lonesome tears stain my cheeks.
life's sorrows overfill my cup.
on each horizon i see the road i should have been on.
today i'll choose better!
tomorrow brings unpredictable feelings.
i might be happy or i might be sad.
there's no way for me to make any kind of guarantee,
but today i was better!
the wind and rain pound onto my heart in vain.
my strength waivers at times but i maintain i matter.
today i feel better!
happiness has never defined my life.
my personality teeters between crazy and crazier.
i give each man i love all i got but it ain't ever enough.
today i'll do better!
mood swings and personal demons take their toll.
i'm hard to like and harder to love.
the medication only destroys what makes me shine.
today i'll be better!
lonesome tears stain my cheeks.
life's sorrows overfill my cup.
on each horizon i see the road i should have been on.
today i'll choose better!
tomorrow brings unpredictable feelings.
i might be happy or i might be sad.
there's no way for me to make any kind of guarantee,
but today i was better!
Friday, January 27, 2012
Be the One
be the one to show me the way, make my day.
my love is fragile; i'm running on empty.
do you know how to fix a broken hearted soul?
please tell me you understand and give me one more chance.
all i need is one more chance to love someone.
be the one to show me the way, make my day.
my soul is bitter; i'm sick of being alone.
can you help me find my happiness inside the coldness?
please say you've been here too and love me.
all i need is for you to love me.
be what you are, my beacon of hope.
be who i see, my soul mate.
be everything to me, my lover and best friend.
be the one to show me the way.
come on baby, make my day.
i know you're the one, please make my day!
my love is fragile; i'm running on empty.
do you know how to fix a broken hearted soul?
please tell me you understand and give me one more chance.
all i need is one more chance to love someone.
be the one to show me the way, make my day.
my soul is bitter; i'm sick of being alone.
can you help me find my happiness inside the coldness?
please say you've been here too and love me.
all i need is for you to love me.
be what you are, my beacon of hope.
be who i see, my soul mate.
be everything to me, my lover and best friend.
be the one to show me the way.
come on baby, make my day.
i know you're the one, please make my day!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Button
he should be angry but he's not.
i should've found a button to push by now, but i've not.
he's unpredictable and it's freaking me out.
he zigs when i zag.
he'd driving me mad!
desire flares my nostrils and dilates my pupils.
physically he provokes uncontrollable responses from me.
emotionally he confuses the fuck out of me.
i can't figure him out.
maybe he's playing me, but i got to find out.
he says one thing and does another.
i say i'm done, but i can't walk away.
he's never what i expect him to be.
he brings out every side of me.
he's always one step ahead of me!
happiness makes me smile and laugh.
cosmically he makes me feel alive again.
mentally we're acting like teenagers.
i'm unable to process all these emotions.
maybe it's time to run!
i should've found a button to push by now, but i've not.
he's unpredictable and it's freaking me out.
he zigs when i zag.
he'd driving me mad!
desire flares my nostrils and dilates my pupils.
physically he provokes uncontrollable responses from me.
emotionally he confuses the fuck out of me.
i can't figure him out.
maybe he's playing me, but i got to find out.
he says one thing and does another.
i say i'm done, but i can't walk away.
he's never what i expect him to be.
he brings out every side of me.
he's always one step ahead of me!
happiness makes me smile and laugh.
cosmically he makes me feel alive again.
mentally we're acting like teenagers.
i'm unable to process all these emotions.
maybe it's time to run!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Eye Candy
my heart's enlarged with love.
i want to pour it out all over you.
i want to pour my love all over, all over, all over you.
i'm a true soul which is better then those women that fly past you in the night.
i'm reaching out to you, but you won't let me get to you.
the eye candy you chase after can't fill up those holes inside of you.
let me heal your shattered soul and make you whole.
i know i'm not as appetising as the eye candy surrounding you,but my love is honest.
can any of them say that to you?
can they love you for you?
are they able to see the fragile human being that hurts like i do, like i do?
i've been burnt like you, but i still try to find love and i've found you.
isnt' that enough?
i want to help you get back to a better place.
i want to hold onto you until our heart's beat as one.
i'm the one that can make it all better, all better for you.
i'm not easy and i see easier tempting you, but that high won't last long.
underneath her pretty lies a hollow heart, she can't help you.
i'm not a ten but you are only 10 percent a person.
together we can make peace in each other's souls.
let me give you all my love.
let me, let me, let me love you.
you're not sure if what people say to you is the truth.
you're afraid of being used and i can't disagree.
life without love just isn't real.
please take this chance i'm offering you to feel something true.
let's jump into love together.
together we can find happiness.
my heart's enlarged with love.
i want to pour it all over you.
i want to pour my love all over, all over, all over you.
i want to pour it out all over you.
i want to pour my love all over, all over, all over you.
i'm a true soul which is better then those women that fly past you in the night.
i'm reaching out to you, but you won't let me get to you.
the eye candy you chase after can't fill up those holes inside of you.
let me heal your shattered soul and make you whole.
i know i'm not as appetising as the eye candy surrounding you,but my love is honest.
can any of them say that to you?
can they love you for you?
are they able to see the fragile human being that hurts like i do, like i do?
i've been burnt like you, but i still try to find love and i've found you.
isnt' that enough?
i want to help you get back to a better place.
i want to hold onto you until our heart's beat as one.
i'm the one that can make it all better, all better for you.
i'm not easy and i see easier tempting you, but that high won't last long.
underneath her pretty lies a hollow heart, she can't help you.
i'm not a ten but you are only 10 percent a person.
together we can make peace in each other's souls.
let me give you all my love.
let me, let me, let me love you.
you're not sure if what people say to you is the truth.
you're afraid of being used and i can't disagree.
life without love just isn't real.
please take this chance i'm offering you to feel something true.
let's jump into love together.
together we can find happiness.
my heart's enlarged with love.
i want to pour it all over you.
i want to pour my love all over, all over, all over you.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Lock
happiness is a wonderful feeling.
joy fills you with warmth.
once upon a time i knew those feelings.
how i live in the past these days.
nothing in my present compares;
love's bittersweet taste on my tongue.
if i unwrap your last gift i'll have nothing left.
this is my place in space, locked in one moment of time.
i don't complain to anyone.
you can't unload your problems, because everyone has their own.
i'm locked into living in a moment that will never repeat.
misery is a cold black wet blanket.
sadness fills my heart with ice.
i know these feeling every damn day.
how they make my future look bleak.
i compare present to past for answers,
but none have surfaced.
i run in place, remembering the feel of your presence.
i don't bother others with these thoughts.
my problems are mental when others have real issues.
i'm locked into what you and i were meant to be.
black and white disagree but i only see gray.
in my soul there's nothing now.
i want to escape but as long as your everywhere i can't.
there's no freedom in these chains of your memory.
i get dragged down to the bottom of all that's surreal.
you locked me up with your love.
you tossed away the key when you left me.
now i sit and spin my wheels waiting for you to release me.
i don't know how to open the lock without you.
just come back for an hour.
joy fills you with warmth.
once upon a time i knew those feelings.
how i live in the past these days.
nothing in my present compares;
love's bittersweet taste on my tongue.
if i unwrap your last gift i'll have nothing left.
this is my place in space, locked in one moment of time.
i don't complain to anyone.
you can't unload your problems, because everyone has their own.
i'm locked into living in a moment that will never repeat.
misery is a cold black wet blanket.
sadness fills my heart with ice.
i know these feeling every damn day.
how they make my future look bleak.
i compare present to past for answers,
but none have surfaced.
i run in place, remembering the feel of your presence.
i don't bother others with these thoughts.
my problems are mental when others have real issues.
i'm locked into what you and i were meant to be.
black and white disagree but i only see gray.
in my soul there's nothing now.
i want to escape but as long as your everywhere i can't.
there's no freedom in these chains of your memory.
i get dragged down to the bottom of all that's surreal.
you locked me up with your love.
you tossed away the key when you left me.
now i sit and spin my wheels waiting for you to release me.
i don't know how to open the lock without you.
just come back for an hour.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Just a Glimpse
just a glimpse of you puts a silly smile on my face.
just one look from you and i melt.
you have the impact of 9.0 earthquake on my heart.
i can't stop wanting you; you've become a part of me!
just a glimps of you today sent my head spinning.
just one wave and my mood soared.
your mere presence shakes me to my core.
i need you like no other man before.
just a glimpse of your ass makes me wet.
just one touch from you and i surrender it all.
you're the exception to my one rule.
i can't tell you no, it's like the word no longer exists with you around.
just a glimpse of your hands has me wanting them all over me.
just one smile from you rocks my whole world.
you make all my bad thoughts disappear.
i want my world to revolve around you.
just a glimpse of you sends me into ecstasy.
just the hope you'll love me too lights my fire.
you know i've fallen hopelessly in love with you.
i can't wait until i catch another glimpse of you!
just one look from you and i melt.
you have the impact of 9.0 earthquake on my heart.
i can't stop wanting you; you've become a part of me!
just a glimps of you today sent my head spinning.
just one wave and my mood soared.
your mere presence shakes me to my core.
i need you like no other man before.
just a glimpse of your ass makes me wet.
just one touch from you and i surrender it all.
you're the exception to my one rule.
i can't tell you no, it's like the word no longer exists with you around.
just a glimpse of your hands has me wanting them all over me.
just one smile from you rocks my whole world.
you make all my bad thoughts disappear.
i want my world to revolve around you.
just a glimpse of you sends me into ecstasy.
just the hope you'll love me too lights my fire.
you know i've fallen hopelessly in love with you.
i can't wait until i catch another glimpse of you!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Back to the Earth
love is the greatest illusion of all
it makes me come alive when i know i'm already dead inside
the air gets weighed down with its expectations
the night air becomes electric with physical delights
i build up the emotion like a skyscraper
the beams are weak and the glass is breakable
there's a fragility in love's embrace
i see it every time i look over at your place
i embarass myself to show you how i am smitten with you
you're unaffected and my tower crumbles back to the earth
happiness is a futile search
it can't remain still enough to keep
i had it for a second then you went away
i left my heart wide open
your lies caught me by surprise
i see you're no good for me
sorrow's tears flood through me to drown out the hurt
i succumb to the pain
you're oblivious and i bury my happiness, giving it back to the earth.
lonliness clings to my flesh
i don't feel anything anymore
all i do is stare into the now empty air
i had thought we'd be together until my last day
but you always had another way
she's perfect and i'm not her
therefore, you don't want me anymore
i'm trying to make peace with my tragedy
you're callous so i will take this lonliness and use to come back down to the earth.
it makes me come alive when i know i'm already dead inside
the air gets weighed down with its expectations
the night air becomes electric with physical delights
i build up the emotion like a skyscraper
the beams are weak and the glass is breakable
there's a fragility in love's embrace
i see it every time i look over at your place
i embarass myself to show you how i am smitten with you
you're unaffected and my tower crumbles back to the earth
happiness is a futile search
it can't remain still enough to keep
i had it for a second then you went away
i left my heart wide open
your lies caught me by surprise
i see you're no good for me
sorrow's tears flood through me to drown out the hurt
i succumb to the pain
you're oblivious and i bury my happiness, giving it back to the earth.
lonliness clings to my flesh
i don't feel anything anymore
all i do is stare into the now empty air
i had thought we'd be together until my last day
but you always had another way
she's perfect and i'm not her
therefore, you don't want me anymore
i'm trying to make peace with my tragedy
you're callous so i will take this lonliness and use to come back down to the earth.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
A Good Time
i had fun today,
me and my family.
there was laughter
and true happiness.
a good time was had by all!
as we rest quietly,
the images process rapidly.
joy and peace settles
upon our hearts.
we are tired and content.
our good time will be remembered by all!
memories have been created,
like capturing magic in a bottle.
the imprints of experience
leave these jovial marks.
i am zealously storing every second.
this good time might never be repeated,
but it will be held dear by all!
me and my family.
there was laughter
and true happiness.
a good time was had by all!
as we rest quietly,
the images process rapidly.
joy and peace settles
upon our hearts.
we are tired and content.
our good time will be remembered by all!
memories have been created,
like capturing magic in a bottle.
the imprints of experience
leave these jovial marks.
i am zealously storing every second.
this good time might never be repeated,
but it will be held dear by all!
Friday, May 13, 2011
Stray Bullet
i'm packing up the emotional baggage you left me
i'm unloading all the crap you piled on me
the sky is clear and blue
there's too much living for me to do
for me to waste away hanging on to you.
good bye, simple and complete.
i've taken your memories and set them free.
i know you no longer think of me.
now it's time for me to say Good bye.
you ripped into me like a stray bullet from a drive by
and now i'm the one picking at the scabs.
i broke myself down, wiped myself clean.
now i'm rebuilding myself better then before.
i'm throwing away the pictures.
i've deleted all the digital links between us.
the sun is shining and it's warm,
i've got myself jazzed to be alive.
there's no more reasons to cry.
good bye, no conditions or exceptions.
i've turned off my misery.
i was struggling like a person on crutches
and it was weighing me down with sorrow.
i feel jubilant and buoyant.
now that i am focused on tomorrow.
good bye to you and your critical world.
good bye to you for good!
i'm unloading all the crap you piled on me
the sky is clear and blue
there's too much living for me to do
for me to waste away hanging on to you.
good bye, simple and complete.
i've taken your memories and set them free.
i know you no longer think of me.
now it's time for me to say Good bye.
you ripped into me like a stray bullet from a drive by
and now i'm the one picking at the scabs.
i broke myself down, wiped myself clean.
now i'm rebuilding myself better then before.
i'm throwing away the pictures.
i've deleted all the digital links between us.
the sun is shining and it's warm,
i've got myself jazzed to be alive.
there's no more reasons to cry.
good bye, no conditions or exceptions.
i've turned off my misery.
i was struggling like a person on crutches
and it was weighing me down with sorrow.
i feel jubilant and buoyant.
now that i am focused on tomorrow.
good bye to you and your critical world.
good bye to you for good!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Good Mood
despite a bittersweet birthday i'm in a good mood.
i feel like the dark clouds have parted
and i can see the sun again.
i got everything i physically need
and even though i miss my mom;
i feel as if she's watching over me from the great beyond.
it's rare for me to be truly happy.
content and optimistic aren't normal for me,
but today i'm blessed.
a good mood has set in
and even the approaching dental appointment
can't damper my happy go lucky spirit.
welcome sunshine and sixty degree weather.
bring on singing birds,
budding flowers and trees,
my allergy and sinus sneezes please.
it's all a wonderful package.
the good, the bad.
the happy, the sad.
today i'm so jazzed.
nothing can take away the good mood i'm in today!
i feel like the dark clouds have parted
and i can see the sun again.
i got everything i physically need
and even though i miss my mom;
i feel as if she's watching over me from the great beyond.
it's rare for me to be truly happy.
content and optimistic aren't normal for me,
but today i'm blessed.
a good mood has set in
and even the approaching dental appointment
can't damper my happy go lucky spirit.
welcome sunshine and sixty degree weather.
bring on singing birds,
budding flowers and trees,
my allergy and sinus sneezes please.
it's all a wonderful package.
the good, the bad.
the happy, the sad.
today i'm so jazzed.
nothing can take away the good mood i'm in today!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Hair
I sit here staring at the ground.
My hair hangs around my face.
My hair doesn't seem my own.
I tug on it and my body feels pain,
confirming that this hair is mine.
The same hair I see everyday in the mirror,
but the mirror lies to me.
Like the reverse of a harvest moon,
I see too little when I look in the mirror.
But as Uncle Jerry said, "God, You've gotten huge!"
These eyes of mine deceive me.
I feel as if I am the shadow of my former self.
I am projecting that image onto the mirror.
I've finally perfected my hair,
but the rest of me is in disrepair.
Happiness is advertised as the public's reflection of everyone else's opinion.
Aspiring to minimize your size and maximize your best features.
I have fallen into a state of denial.
I'm rejecting anything that threatens to polish me.
I see myself through hair covered eyes.
I am leaving societal conventions shattered on the ground,
in the reflection of the scattered shards of my broken mirror.
Egressing back to happier food filled days,
asking no question of why I am this way.
I'm vexing my own weaknesses until
I end on a note of uncomfortable acceptance I cease to care.
My hair hangs around my face.
My hair doesn't seem my own.
I tug on it and my body feels pain,
confirming that this hair is mine.
The same hair I see everyday in the mirror,
but the mirror lies to me.
Like the reverse of a harvest moon,
I see too little when I look in the mirror.
But as Uncle Jerry said, "God, You've gotten huge!"
These eyes of mine deceive me.
I feel as if I am the shadow of my former self.
I am projecting that image onto the mirror.
I've finally perfected my hair,
but the rest of me is in disrepair.
Happiness is advertised as the public's reflection of everyone else's opinion.
Aspiring to minimize your size and maximize your best features.
I have fallen into a state of denial.
I'm rejecting anything that threatens to polish me.
I see myself through hair covered eyes.
I am leaving societal conventions shattered on the ground,
in the reflection of the scattered shards of my broken mirror.
Egressing back to happier food filled days,
asking no question of why I am this way.
I'm vexing my own weaknesses until
I end on a note of uncomfortable acceptance I cease to care.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monkey on My Back
I carry you around, a literal monkey on my back.
I carry you in my veins, a dna programmed heart attack.
I see you around my throat strangling me.
My crusty elbows and swollen ankles feel your weight too.
But no more! Today I begin a journey to be free of you.
The here is now. My turn has come.
I hum a victory tune because I have conquered you.
I throw away the memories.
I'll rebuild my self-esteem one lover's caresse at a time.
No more are you mine.
I hold my head up higher then the mountain tops.
I hold my spirit above your hateful presence.
I can see my future in a better light without our constant fights.
I'm finally free of you.
The here is now. My turn has come.
I do a little dance of happiness because I've banished you.
I tossed out your negativity.
I've found my voice again.
One day at a time I'll rejoice.
No more are you mine.
I packed up the monkey on my back and I'm never going back.
My body is shedding your image.
I'm getting closer to who I see in my head as me.
Now let's hum and dance until we collapse
because you aren't mine anymore.
I carry you in my veins, a dna programmed heart attack.
I see you around my throat strangling me.
My crusty elbows and swollen ankles feel your weight too.
But no more! Today I begin a journey to be free of you.
The here is now. My turn has come.
I hum a victory tune because I have conquered you.
I throw away the memories.
I'll rebuild my self-esteem one lover's caresse at a time.
No more are you mine.
I hold my head up higher then the mountain tops.
I hold my spirit above your hateful presence.
I can see my future in a better light without our constant fights.
I'm finally free of you.
The here is now. My turn has come.
I do a little dance of happiness because I've banished you.
I tossed out your negativity.
I've found my voice again.
One day at a time I'll rejoice.
No more are you mine.
I packed up the monkey on my back and I'm never going back.
My body is shedding your image.
I'm getting closer to who I see in my head as me.
Now let's hum and dance until we collapse
because you aren't mine anymore.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I Don't Need You
you leave me unmoved. i listen to your passionate pleas. and i don't feel a damn thing. i shove you down and kick you for no reason. your tears make me angry and your i'm sorry's whip up a cold breeze inside my heart. if you had loved me you would have stayed. i don't need anyone. i don't need you.
the reasons unfold like a murder mystery i've seen 1,000 times before. your charms can't heal my broken heart. there's no do over's. you took until i had nothing to give, i'm bankrupt so leave. you are nothing to me. i don't need anyone. i don't need you.
i steal the moments of solitude and collect my thoughts carefully. i have only half of me to live from now. your betrayal eclipsed my days of happiness. i'd shoot you dead if i believed it would undo all the misery you brought to my door. i don't need anyone. i don't need you.
i need time to heal. i need quiet to cry. i need to eat something. i need a quick fix. i need fire. i need love. i need feelings. i need a smile. you god damn, fucking, son of a bitch. i need to forget. give me all the booze and bottles of pills you can get. god help me, i won't quit, until i don't need anyone. and i don't need you. until i don't need you. until i don't need you. i won't quit until i don't need you.
the reasons unfold like a murder mystery i've seen 1,000 times before. your charms can't heal my broken heart. there's no do over's. you took until i had nothing to give, i'm bankrupt so leave. you are nothing to me. i don't need anyone. i don't need you.
i steal the moments of solitude and collect my thoughts carefully. i have only half of me to live from now. your betrayal eclipsed my days of happiness. i'd shoot you dead if i believed it would undo all the misery you brought to my door. i don't need anyone. i don't need you.
i need time to heal. i need quiet to cry. i need to eat something. i need a quick fix. i need fire. i need love. i need feelings. i need a smile. you god damn, fucking, son of a bitch. i need to forget. give me all the booze and bottles of pills you can get. god help me, i won't quit, until i don't need anyone. and i don't need you. until i don't need you. until i don't need you. i won't quit until i don't need you.
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