Console Myself

cramps, blood, pain, misery; all has befallen me.
failure, disappointment, fear, doubt; all are present here with me.
there's been a total eclipse of my soul.
crashing waves of angry thoughts beat me down.
thrashing words whip me from out of your mouth.
my savior flies south while i walk north.
there's only an echo to keep me company now!

a solemn mood has settled over me.
my emotions hesitate to be.
every color bleeds.
notice the little wrinkles on my forehead.
i'm rotting away.
my flesh dries out.
every breath is death.

despair, loneliness, sadness, madness; all perch upon my shoulders.
aches, spasms, depression, exhaustion; all kick me when i'm down.
there's a hostile take over going on in my heart.
hurling accusations hit me hard.
whirling clouds of confusion take my breath away.
my hopes took the last bus out of town.
there's only me to console myself now!

Button

he should be angry but he's not.
i should've found a button to push by now, but i've not.
he's unpredictable and it's freaking me out.
he zigs when i zag.
he'd driving me mad!

desire flares my nostrils and dilates my pupils.
physically he provokes uncontrollable responses from me.
emotionally he confuses the fuck out of me.
i can't figure him out.
maybe he's playing me, but i got to find out.

he says one thing and does another.
i say i'm done, but i can't walk away.
he's never what i expect him to be.
he brings out every side of me.
he's always one step ahead of me!

happiness makes me smile and laugh.
cosmically he makes me feel alive again.
mentally we're acting like teenagers.
i'm unable to process all these emotions.
maybe it's time to run!

Until I Don't Need You

you leave me unmoved.
i listen to your passionate pleas and i don't feel a damn thing.
i shove you down and kick you for no reason.
your tears make me angry.
your i'm sorry's whip up a cold breeze inside my heart.
if you really loved me you would have stayed.
i don't need anyone.
i don't need you.

the reasons unfold like a plot in a murder mystery i've see a 1,000 times before.
your charms can't heal my broken heart.
there's no do over.
you took until i had nothing left to give.
i'm bankrupt so leave.
you are nothing to me.
i don't need anyone.
i don't need you.

i steal the moments of solitude and collect my thoughts.
i have only 1/2 of me to live off of now.
your betrayal eclipsed my days of happiness.
i'd shoot you dead if i believed it would undo all this misery you brought upon me.
i don't need anyone.
i don't need you.

i need to heal.
i need to cry.
i need to eat.
i need a quick fix to get by.
i need fire.
i need love.
i need feelings.
i need to smile.

you God Damn fucking son of a bitch!

i need to forget.
give me all the booze and bottles of pills you can get.
God help me, i won't quit until i don't need you.
i'll self-medicate.
i'll self-destruct.
i'll burn my fucking self down to the God Damn ground.
i won't stop until i don't need you.

I Don't Need You

you leave me unmoved. i listen to your passionate pleas. and i don't feel a damn thing. i shove you down and kick you for no reason. your tears make me angry and your i'm sorry's whip up a cold breeze inside my heart. if you had loved me you would have stayed. i don't need anyone. i don't need you.

the reasons unfold like a murder mystery i've seen 1,000 times before. your charms can't heal my broken heart. there's no do over's. you took until i had nothing to give, i'm bankrupt so leave. you are nothing to me. i don't need anyone. i don't need you.

i steal the moments of solitude and collect my thoughts carefully. i have only half of me to live from now. your betrayal eclipsed my days of happiness. i'd shoot you dead if i believed it would undo all the misery you brought to my door. i don't need anyone. i don't need you.

i need time to heal. i need quiet to cry. i need to eat something. i need a quick fix. i need fire. i need love. i need feelings. i need a smile. you god damn, fucking, son of a bitch. i need to forget. give me all the booze and bottles of pills you can get. god help me, i won't quit, until i don't need anyone. and i don't need you. until i don't need you. until i don't need you. i won't quit until i don't need you.