The Frequency of Silence

i run behind on everything.
when i know the end is near,
i can count the frequency of silence on both hands.

akward moments of quiet.
stares fixated on the floor.
feet shuffling towards the door.
the beating of my heart fills my ears.
i'm in tune with the frequency of silence.

hushed tones when i walk in.
people trying to look busy.
their eyes avert mine.
the sound of my breath on the air.
i know the frequency of silence well.

i missed a class on how not to be an ass.
i can remember every faux pas
that resulted in no sounds.
i'm well aquainted with the frequency of silence.

Nothing That Would Interest Me

How do you know my story after looking at me for 10 seconds?
Do you always judge a book by it's cover?
I know I don't look like a model.
I'm ordinary and natural.
I'm a real woman with real love to give.
But that's nothing that would interest you.

I confess I liked your smile,
But I always want to know more.
And you, slammed the door in my face.
So, of course, now I know,
You are nothing that would interest me.

It's so funny in this superficial world to hear such harsh
and thoughtless words.
Everyone rushes to judgement,
like love has a time limit.
These fast food 99 cent relationships have
nothing that would interest me.

I want to go back in time,
to when people took their time to say hello
and get to know who you are on the inside.
Today everyone's too busy to find someone to interest them.

So I'll keep moving forward, cuz there's
nothing that would interest me here.

Before

I don't know what to say.
How do you begin to understand
the horrors this world hands out,
to innocent bystanders, sudden victims?
You're scared and crying.
How do you capture the moments
BEFORE
before the pain?
before you were destroyed?
before your heart was ripped out?

We all hope there's some explanation,
either in our faith or the laws of human nature.
We cling to any possibility that we are right
and those who disagree are wrong.
There's a second of calm between dusk and the last bit of daylight.
If we could freeze the world
If we could reverse the tides of carelessness
If we could stop the wave of selfishness
and remind the world what it's like to serve
the good and kind
the just and the innocent

They are all stripped and powerless against the darkness of the world today.
No one is safe anywhere anymore.
There's no magical line you can cross,
to where the devil can't bring chaos to your door.
No escape from the doubt and the fear that cloud our vision
and cause our tears.
How do you capture the moments
BEFORE
before when it was simpler times?
before when your word was your bond?
before when you could take people at face value?
before when you could leave your door unlocked?

But not anymore, those times are gone for good.
Just a memory in some old man's head,
or a story to read at bedtime to the kids.
Before the world was stained by lies.
Before free love became twisted and died.
Before I was born.
I don't have any recollection of the time before.

My Eyes Hurt

my eyes hurt
they water and they burn
they are sick of seeing the world of pain
the bombs exploding, the hate and the crime, the children disappearing overnight
my eyes hurt
they can’t stop crying
they can’t believe all the horrors they see
towers are crumbling, planes are falling from the sky, and people are jumping to die
my eyes hurt
the world has become blurry and unrecognizable to them
they see the predators around every corner
they aren’t just seeing strangers anymore.
it’s our neighbors, our clergymen, our scouts, our teachers, and our counselors too
i want to sew my eyes shut
so i can’t see the tragedies as they unfold
but the axe has fallen
slicing the wool over my eyes to shreds
this is the world
and seeing is believing

The Good Guy

I have power in my hands.
I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.
There’s so much blood on my hands at this rate they’ll never be clean again.
I’m supposed to be the good guy.

The one who saves the day.
But I can’t be there always, so I get all the blame.
I’m supposed to be the good guy.

The one who does the right thing.
But it’s hard to tell right from wrong these days.
I have to be perfect but I never am.
Everyone who watches me never sees me the way I am.
The expectations of the world are crushing me.
The publics favor twists in the wind.
I’m supposed to be the good guy.

My life is complicated.
I hold my feelings in.
I’m afraid to show who I love how I feel.
I have to pay the price every time I do.
My loved one’s suffer for me and they’ve done nothing wrong.
I want to walk away.
I want to throw it all away.
But at the end of the day.
Here I am and I’m supposed to be the good guy.

Bad Day

I’m having a bad day
Just go away
Leave me be to my insanity
Society has crushed my self – esteem
Every magazine I read says
I shouldn’t look like me
Every TV show I see
Is telling me I shouldn’t act like me
When did being me get to be so wrong
Where did being an individual get gonged
You want the pretty face
The perfect body
The woman to match every hottie on MTV you see
But that ain’t me
I’m curvy, bubbly, and lovable
Cute, cuddly, and huggable
But I don’t match
I don’t wear watches and rings
I’m not pretty enough for you anyways
Every one knows what is in
But what’s in isn’t who I am
I do what I like
And wear what feels good
That just being me
What I wear isn’t in the fashion zines
It’s not being catwalked in Milan
It’s just sweats, shorts, and jeans
T-shirts and nail polish
What’s a woman got to do
To get a man to see what’s true
Every day woman don’t have a stylist
I am just lucky to get my hair to lay flat
Society has wrecked my chances
I am too far outside the norm
When will you recognize
A woman like me is perfect for a man like you?