I Don't Want to Hate You

i got hope growing inside of me.
peace and happiness are taking root.
i'm building my own ark to save me from my old tears.
i don't want to hate you.

i'm finding someone new.
he's going to be better for me then you.
goodbye's hurt, but new beginnings are sweet.

i look out into the darkness.
i dismiss my fears.
there's no time to wallow in my tears.
i treasure every memory we made, but i need new ones to keep my heart fed.
i don't want to fear you.

my mind rolls along passed the thunder clouds you made.
the sun is finally shining down on me.
life isn't as complicated as you want it to be.

i dream of days free from worry.
i'm exhausted from all the sleepless nights.
i know i tried everything, but nothing ever satisfied you.
i'll miss your smile the most.
i don't want to forget you.

there's no stranger knocking on my door.
i have a life to live.
i can't waste anymore time on you.

Backlog of Debt

i miss being young and full of hope
life's highway has taken me to some strange places
they holy ghost closed his eyes and
broke his arms trying to hold me

i thought i could coast through life
leaving nights with a stranger's kiss unscathed
but i forgot that with every promise not kept
you build up a backlog of debt

every day i grew further from the truth
i let thousands of regrets go unchecked
my ocean of nothingness became hard
i began to linger where i wasn't wanted
i was sailing at full speed on low tide
fading away into a lonely existence

my heart is empty now
from the distance i look normal
but the closer you get the less you see
i've scattered too many pieces of my soul
to every hope to be whole

i watch the light go out of the sky
night brings the darkness i know
i am lost in my own thoughts
i am trying to right my course
but my compass spins endlessly

there's no closure to be found
i seek solance for a damaged soul
God doesn't speak to me anymore
i see my scars against the stars
my battle is a bit of dust in a giant's eye

i used to be able to pretend i don't care
but now i feel every stare
i wrap up my thoughts without consequences
the path i take from here is the one i fear
because today i dare to change

Ten Minutes

you're sticking to me closer then the plague on my teeth.
you're spreading over my life like a contagious disease.
we met for ten minutes and i can't get rid of you!

everything changed in one heart beat.
a chance meeting, two hearts beating,
there are pheromones in the air,
eye contact made, chemistry collides,
smiles exchanged, coy under currents,
but the moment passes in a second.

i keep seeing you every where i go.
i ponder, can there be so many coincidences?
at first i would smile, then i would nod,
but after awhile, you became part of the scenery.
a flight of fancy or just a road not taken.
another part of a boring routine.

the tragedy erupts and unfurls furiously.
a rush to judgement in the name of justice.
it's all the contemporary rage,
run his undies up the flag pole.
declare your victory now the evil is gone.

pile up the evidence and put away your conscience.
backed into a corner you fought it out.
no one blames you for what you had to do.
so why can't you eat?
and why when you close your eyes,
you are back to those ten minutes?

he'll haunt you for the rest of your life.
a random stranger latched on to you
and your whole peaceful world came unglued.
ten minutes was all it took
to know how it feels to go to hell and back!