Crush

i have a new crush, hush!
it's a secret i keep close to my heart.
i've been bum rushed with lust!
it's time to dust off my heart and attempt to love again.
the scars run deep into my soul.
the feelings are growing but i hold back.
i hesitate to make initial contact.
rejection could crush my fragile feelings.

i don't know how many beats my poor heart has left.
time is short but heartbreak's sting is still too fresh.
i'm missing the nerve to take this chance!
i work hard to avoid the opposite sex but they're everywhere.
he is someone i always thought was cute but he had a ring where it can get me hurt,
but now i notice the ring is gone!
i don't know what happened or if he's still haunted by a divorce's ghost.
do i ask or just stare some more?

my past still shadow's my every step.
i can't go all in anymore.
these memories hurt less everyday but i'm a long way from healed.
loneliness is still a preferred state of being at this point.
i've become allergic to pain.
i cough and nearly choke to death at the thought of falling in love!

these times are tough and i have to survive.
i can't trust my heart or believe my ears.
lies are so easily disguised as hope.
truth hurts worse when told to you by someone else.
i can't deny this crush, but i can fight against it!
it won't overtake me!
this time i walk away before it ever starts.

Favorite Chocolate Bar

i'm inhaling the leftover scent of your cologne.
i try to capture your intense presence in a jar.
your hazel eyes inspired me to fall.
i want to take this feeling and hang it up like a poster on my wall.
you could be my idol and i could be your doll,
but i'm not grammy material.
and the music we made ended on the wrong note.
now your voice is lost to me!

i want to recycle my memories into toys for poor kids
or maybe turn myself into your favorite chocolate bar,
then you would love me as much as pooh bear loves his honey.
please change your cooling affections!
it's sunday maybe by thursday you'll want me again.
i'm nowhere without your hands dancing with desire over my skin.
i feel like i've fallen into an empty pit of despair;
instead of you keeping me warm i wear thermal underwear.

take a laser and carve you out of my brain.
be thorough, i want to forget every little thing.
why couldn't you like me the most?
if you were a drug i'd be your abuser.
the words growled under your breath fester like open wounds upon my flesh.
open up my chest and remove my heart;
it's not important to me if you aren't here for me to love!