Chills Down Their Spines

i've finally achieved the impossible, i've become invisible.
it seems only my dad and daughter can see me.
everyone else looks right through me.
my existence forgotten, my image lost, i am no one!

i'd pray to God if i thought it'd help.
i'd lose more weight if i thought it'd make a difference.
i can alter my external appearance a million ways,
but i'd still be imperfect.

i want to bend until i break.
i want to surrender and be killed by friendly fire.
i'd love to be lovable, but i'm not.
i'd like to be popular, but i won't.
you realize early on some things never change.

i'm in love with wanting to be in love.
the concept is a wonderful sweeping and grand gesture.
reality is a harsher and much closer friend.
the truth depends on who you talk to.
there's not a single formula to create the person in your dreams.

i think in milliseconds that i'm a terrible person.
these negative affirmations never end.
i'll have them dance on my grave before i'm even dead.
the show could go on forever.
if only i could reach deeply into my mind to find the moment where my happiness died,
i might be able to revive it.

my misconceptions have outgrown me now.
every one can see i'm broken somehow.
i'm ignored by all.
people don't want to see me, because it's painful.
the thought of me sends chills down their spines,
because we all know there's a little bit of me in them.

The Bad Guy

She's beautiful. I understand what you see in her. I tried to be a better woman. I was hoping you'd try to be a better man. But you fell into your desires, we've both been burnt by this wildfire.

it was the lack of words that spoke volumes to me. The missing clothes. The new cologne. All the signs were there but I didn't want to see where they were leading me to.

So who's the bad guy here? I blame you for being weak. You blame me for gaining weight. Whose right? And Whose Wrong? I like to wear black, so does that make me the bad guy?

She's young. I understand she makes you happy. Sometimes I can't believe you're walking away. Like the years together are erasable. Like my tears are invisible. I hear the bell tolling for the death of our love.

It was the mood swings that slapped the rose colored glasses of off my eyes. The way you'd run away from me. The calls taken outside in the freezing cold. All the signs pointing me down this lonely road.

So who's the bad guy here? I blame you for cheating. You blame me for berating you. Whose good? And whose evil? I like to turn your whites pink, so does that make me the bad guy?