Chills Down Their Spines

i've finally achieved the impossible, i've become invisible.
it seems only my dad and daughter can see me.
everyone else looks right through me.
my existence forgotten, my image lost, i am no one!

i'd pray to God if i thought it'd help.
i'd lose more weight if i thought it'd make a difference.
i can alter my external appearance a million ways,
but i'd still be imperfect.

i want to bend until i break.
i want to surrender and be killed by friendly fire.
i'd love to be lovable, but i'm not.
i'd like to be popular, but i won't.
you realize early on some things never change.

i'm in love with wanting to be in love.
the concept is a wonderful sweeping and grand gesture.
reality is a harsher and much closer friend.
the truth depends on who you talk to.
there's not a single formula to create the person in your dreams.

i think in milliseconds that i'm a terrible person.
these negative affirmations never end.
i'll have them dance on my grave before i'm even dead.
the show could go on forever.
if only i could reach deeply into my mind to find the moment where my happiness died,
i might be able to revive it.

my misconceptions have outgrown me now.
every one can see i'm broken somehow.
i'm ignored by all.
people don't want to see me, because it's painful.
the thought of me sends chills down their spines,
because we all know there's a little bit of me in them.

Imperfections

the wind blows cold on this monday morning.
the rain came in and washed away all that we had,
but i have your hand to hold, that's enough to get me by.
i love every one of your imperfections.
how you smell like cigarettes when you told me you quit smoking.

the house is a complete loss.
the photographs a mess of wet paper.
all the memories dissolved into a blob,
but you're hugging me hard and that's all i need.
i love every one of your imperfections.
your goatee and shaved head looks like every other man right now,
i can't get you to change it, so i just kiss your chin.

the cars are rusting out.
the motorcycle won't start.
we're living on the boat, never thought that would happen,
but we're laughing and eating smores, life is good.
i love every one of your imperfections.
how you tell me i'm the most beautiful woman in the world,
when i just saw you check that jogger out.

it wouldn't be this way if you weren't you.
the saddness would overwhelm me just like the water overran our stuff,
but you go out of your way to make me feel okay.
i love every one of your imperfections.
i think they are the best parts of you!

Randomness

i have found strength when i thought i had none.
i took a leap of faith when i fell in love with you.
my past stunted my growth,but my future has appeared.

why can't i be brilliant?

i think it is time to get back on the horse.
i need to lasso my imperfections,
put the proverbial horse back in the barn.

i remember what matters.
i have to learn to want what i already have.
perfection and human are contradictions.

all my random thoughts tackle me.
peace has come at last.
i succumb to the darkness within me.
now it is time to sleep.

Flawed

I am merely human.
I am riddled with flaws.
Inside and out they leave their mark.
My nose is scarred.
My freckles unevenly placed.
The more I look in the mirror,
The more I see how flawed I am.

I am an emotional being.
I am a vortex of contradictory decisions.
I leave my mark everywhere.
I cry suddenly with no provacation.
I get angry, explode, then laugh it off 5 seconds later.
The more I explore my inner mind,
The more I find how flawed I am.

My flaws bring me down to the basic level of humility.
These flaws make up the whole of me.
Each little piece doesn't explain enough about me.
Without being flawed I wouldn't be me.
I hate my flaws.
I love my flaws.
My flaws are who I am.