Incomplete

i ask you to marry me in one sentence
and downplay it as jest in the next,
but if my heart could shout
it would cry out for you to be my man!

i'm right here, but you don't see me.
i'd love to expand the world's population with you.
your shaved head, goatee, and hazel eyes have me mesmerized.
how do i take control with you when i've never had it before?

i don't want a phone smarter then me.
caves, bungee jumps, and roller coasters don't call out to me.
the adventure i seek drinks his whiskey neat.
he doesn't cut corners, is borderline ocd, and eats meat.

promises haven't been exchanged.
we make out and dry hump regularly.
the build up to something more has fizzled out.
my mental images are the only ones getting off.

i love chocolate, the color yellow, and daffodils.
i hate clowns, death, and people who mock me.
what i know about scott can't complete this sentence.
he camps, off roads certain vehicles, and loves at least 1 of his 7 children.

my file on him is as incomplete as this poem.
i think we'd set the world on fire together.
our demons can throw one hell of a party.
little petey and i could meet daily.

let's talk about our feelings.
undo the damage done by years of neglect.
i'll take your hand and understand.
i'll love all of you and not just the parts i like.

you're a whole person, both good and bad.
i want to know it all.
please show me every part of your personality.
i know it's more complicated then i think.

i'm not here to save you or fix you.
you don't need that from me.
i accept you just the way you are.
you're beautiful to me.

but you never gave me a chance to love you.
this romance was all happenstance.
now you get a faux happy ending with her
and i'm left alone and incomplete!

Reunited

i learn something new every day.
my lines blur and cross, but i am stronger now.
my weaknesses are fading.
i gather my bad thoughts and tie them up with twine.
i set them on fire and watch the wind carry them away.
i keep the Holy Ghost close to my heart.
yes, i am stronger then i thought.

home isn't defined my walls and roofs.
my home is God's domain.
my soul lives to do his will.
i purify myself by my actions.
i see the path clearly now.
God is calling me home and where ever he wants me is where i must go.

i have forgiven myself because Jesus forgave my sins.
i can not linger on my past.
the future is brighter and lighter for me.
my tears served a purpose.
i had to cry so i could let go.
my internal compass points true north.

there is no doubt anymore.
God is my father.
Jesus is my savior.
the Holy Ghost is my guide.

i will never get lost again.
i've given up trying to steer.
i go where the spirit tells me to go.
if i get confused, i am a prayer away from clarity.

my hands work in unison with God's angels.
this joy is the greatest i've ever known.
i spent years making what is simple complicated,
but now i'm reunited with my Lord!

Irony

oh, what am I going to do?
i am falling in love with you.
my stomach is knotting up.
my head is spinning from
all these thoughts of you;
but it's complicated.
i know you don't feel the same.
i'm your friend.
oh, what am I going to do?

you are perfect for me.
it's unfortunate you love her
and you aren't in love with me.
our conversations are the highlight of my day.
the friend in me wants you to be happy
with whomever that might be,
but my heart is selfish and wants you
all to myself.

i tell you i hope it works
between the 2 of you,
but my heart screams
please let her dump him!
i feel bad but good when he says
he's afraid it's over with her.
my smile is fixed.
my supportive words rehearsed.
i'll be a good friend,
just to keep hearing your voice.

oh, what am i going to do?
i am falling in love with you.
please screw it up somehow,
please let me find a fatal flaw.
please let me be turned off by him,
instead i want to ravage him.
if there's any balance or sense
of fairness in the universe
let him fall in love with me.
oh, what am i going to do