tied to a butterfly's wings my anxiety flies away.
the wind and rain pound onto my heart in vain.
my strength waivers at times but i maintain i matter.
today i feel better!
happiness has never defined my life.
my personality teeters between crazy and crazier.
i give each man i love all i got but it ain't ever enough.
today i'll do better!
mood swings and personal demons take their toll.
i'm hard to like and harder to love.
the medication only destroys what makes me shine.
today i'll be better!
lonesome tears stain my cheeks.
life's sorrows overfill my cup.
on each horizon i see the road i should have been on.
today i'll choose better!
tomorrow brings unpredictable feelings.
i might be happy or i might be sad.
there's no way for me to make any kind of guarantee,
but today i was better!
Showing posts with label rain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rain. Show all posts
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Monday, September 5, 2011
Imperfections
the wind blows cold on this monday morning.
the rain came in and washed away all that we had,
but i have your hand to hold, that's enough to get me by.
i love every one of your imperfections.
how you smell like cigarettes when you told me you quit smoking.
the house is a complete loss.
the photographs a mess of wet paper.
all the memories dissolved into a blob,
but you're hugging me hard and that's all i need.
i love every one of your imperfections.
your goatee and shaved head looks like every other man right now,
i can't get you to change it, so i just kiss your chin.
the cars are rusting out.
the motorcycle won't start.
we're living on the boat, never thought that would happen,
but we're laughing and eating smores, life is good.
i love every one of your imperfections.
how you tell me i'm the most beautiful woman in the world,
when i just saw you check that jogger out.
it wouldn't be this way if you weren't you.
the saddness would overwhelm me just like the water overran our stuff,
but you go out of your way to make me feel okay.
i love every one of your imperfections.
i think they are the best parts of you!
the rain came in and washed away all that we had,
but i have your hand to hold, that's enough to get me by.
i love every one of your imperfections.
how you smell like cigarettes when you told me you quit smoking.
the house is a complete loss.
the photographs a mess of wet paper.
all the memories dissolved into a blob,
but you're hugging me hard and that's all i need.
i love every one of your imperfections.
your goatee and shaved head looks like every other man right now,
i can't get you to change it, so i just kiss your chin.
the cars are rusting out.
the motorcycle won't start.
we're living on the boat, never thought that would happen,
but we're laughing and eating smores, life is good.
i love every one of your imperfections.
how you tell me i'm the most beautiful woman in the world,
when i just saw you check that jogger out.
it wouldn't be this way if you weren't you.
the saddness would overwhelm me just like the water overran our stuff,
but you go out of your way to make me feel okay.
i love every one of your imperfections.
i think they are the best parts of you!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Outbound Train of Thought
i woke up exhausted at 5:55 am today.
i got up and went into the bathroom.
i turned on the light and stared at myself in the mirror.
i looked translucent, like a ghost.
i felt dead, like i'd been ran over by the last train of thought
that left my head when i went to bed.
i was awake, but i felt like i'd just given birth.
i had an odd sensation in my hands.
i have never been a morning person.
my face is too white.
i look old.
if i ever win the lottery i will buy a new face
to match my new fancy place.
i am disgusted by every image of myself that i have ever seen.
i wish i was blind so i'd never have to look at myself again.
i keep telling myself, this is the week i make a change.
this will be the year i overcome my past,
but i keep covering the same old ground.
it's been forever since i felt put together.
this is my earthly home, i need to worry more about my soul.
i feel like God has set this life up like a stop watch.
He starts the clock when we are born innocent,
and only He has the knowledge when the clock will be stopped.
The one who did the most good in the time recorded gets a ticket to Heaven.
I hope He understands i am a slow learner!
i have control issues.
i am the first to admit i hate not being the one making the decisions.
accepting that i can not dictate to God what i want to happen in my life,
leaves me feeling like i'm drowning in a sea of chaos.
i can't breathe.
i feel sorrowful for wanting to veto God's will.
He immediately makes his point when i walk out the door.
the sky opens up and the water pours down on me,
like little reminders of his absolute power over me.
even i know a good rain can wash away all that is unclean.
i wonder if i should build a boat, because it's been raining alot these days!
i got up and went into the bathroom.
i turned on the light and stared at myself in the mirror.
i looked translucent, like a ghost.
i felt dead, like i'd been ran over by the last train of thought
that left my head when i went to bed.
i was awake, but i felt like i'd just given birth.
i had an odd sensation in my hands.
i have never been a morning person.
my face is too white.
i look old.
if i ever win the lottery i will buy a new face
to match my new fancy place.
i am disgusted by every image of myself that i have ever seen.
i wish i was blind so i'd never have to look at myself again.
i keep telling myself, this is the week i make a change.
this will be the year i overcome my past,
but i keep covering the same old ground.
it's been forever since i felt put together.
this is my earthly home, i need to worry more about my soul.
i feel like God has set this life up like a stop watch.
He starts the clock when we are born innocent,
and only He has the knowledge when the clock will be stopped.
The one who did the most good in the time recorded gets a ticket to Heaven.
I hope He understands i am a slow learner!
i have control issues.
i am the first to admit i hate not being the one making the decisions.
accepting that i can not dictate to God what i want to happen in my life,
leaves me feeling like i'm drowning in a sea of chaos.
i can't breathe.
i feel sorrowful for wanting to veto God's will.
He immediately makes his point when i walk out the door.
the sky opens up and the water pours down on me,
like little reminders of his absolute power over me.
even i know a good rain can wash away all that is unclean.
i wonder if i should build a boat, because it's been raining alot these days!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Every Bit of Me
the tone of your voice is slightly hypnotic.
that must be why i believe you
when you tell me to trust you.
i'd like to dance in the rain with you.
let the storm overcome us
and be soaking wet, drenched in the moment.
all the world revolving around our hearts' beating.
i don't live in reverse.
i love full speed ahead.
when i commit, i'm all in!
no retractions or substitutions.
i hand over every bit of me.
the good and the bad,
it's more then you've ever had.
the light sparkles in your bright eyes.
that must be why i think you only see me
when you enter a room.
i'd like to spend eternity with you.
let my life start now
and the past will evaporate.
the future is wide open.
all we've done before now is obsolete.
that must be why i believe you
when you tell me to trust you.
i'd like to dance in the rain with you.
let the storm overcome us
and be soaking wet, drenched in the moment.
all the world revolving around our hearts' beating.
i don't live in reverse.
i love full speed ahead.
when i commit, i'm all in!
no retractions or substitutions.
i hand over every bit of me.
the good and the bad,
it's more then you've ever had.
the light sparkles in your bright eyes.
that must be why i think you only see me
when you enter a room.
i'd like to spend eternity with you.
let my life start now
and the past will evaporate.
the future is wide open.
all we've done before now is obsolete.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
The Storm
i'm writing by the light of lightning.
the rain is battering the window.
the wind is gusting quickly through the trees.
the loud booms of thunder startle me.
i watch with awe the power of mother nature.
i feel so small in comparison.
i hope the storm doesn't last long.
it's been trying to unleash since 5pm.
the rain drops were so fat and far apart
i could actually walk in between them.
the little pieces of ice began to come down,
breaking apart when they hit my arm.
i ran for cover to avoid the hail;
it came and went for 30 minutes.
i rushed the dog into the house against her will.
it's almost 3 hours later.
the real storm has arrived.
it thrashes while trees crash.
my dog whimpers and tries to hide.
the power is out.
the windows are closed.
i feel entombed inside my own home.
the storms come and go,
so many this year, more then i've ever known.
you hope and you pray,
this storm won't blow my home away.
the rain is battering the window.
the wind is gusting quickly through the trees.
the loud booms of thunder startle me.
i watch with awe the power of mother nature.
i feel so small in comparison.
i hope the storm doesn't last long.
it's been trying to unleash since 5pm.
the rain drops were so fat and far apart
i could actually walk in between them.
the little pieces of ice began to come down,
breaking apart when they hit my arm.
i ran for cover to avoid the hail;
it came and went for 30 minutes.
i rushed the dog into the house against her will.
it's almost 3 hours later.
the real storm has arrived.
it thrashes while trees crash.
my dog whimpers and tries to hide.
the power is out.
the windows are closed.
i feel entombed inside my own home.
the storms come and go,
so many this year, more then i've ever known.
you hope and you pray,
this storm won't blow my home away.
Monday, May 23, 2011
A Perfect Afternoon
the wind is blowing through me,
like an invisible lover, it caresses me.
i raise my head towards the sunshine.
i close my eyes and savor the warmth.
i've been so cold for too long.
i inhale deeply the scent of summer air.
i walk barefoot on the damp grass.
i had forgotten how it tickles.
i've missed the leaves on the trees
and how it seems they are whispering to me,
when the wind blows through them.
the rain has stayed for far too long.
the dirt no longer can hold it all.
the clouds move quickly,
like they are in a hurry to pass me by.
i know the weather will be changing soon.
here in Ohio it always does,
but i'm enjoying this, a perfect afternoon.
like an invisible lover, it caresses me.
i raise my head towards the sunshine.
i close my eyes and savor the warmth.
i've been so cold for too long.
i inhale deeply the scent of summer air.
i walk barefoot on the damp grass.
i had forgotten how it tickles.
i've missed the leaves on the trees
and how it seems they are whispering to me,
when the wind blows through them.
the rain has stayed for far too long.
the dirt no longer can hold it all.
the clouds move quickly,
like they are in a hurry to pass me by.
i know the weather will be changing soon.
here in Ohio it always does,
but i'm enjoying this, a perfect afternoon.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thought Four
The day is dark and dreary.
The rain comes down icy cold.
I feel so at home on days like this.
It's like my mind is a canvas and it's painted the world with a reflection of itself.
I want to wrap my arms around me and pretend I don't like the cold.
But I know I embrace it.
My eyes are twitching and itching to cry, but I still hold the tears back.
I see crying as surrendering to reality.
I am not ready to give up on me.
Someday, somewhere out there, there's got to be someone who will love me.
The rain comes down icy cold.
I feel so at home on days like this.
It's like my mind is a canvas and it's painted the world with a reflection of itself.
I want to wrap my arms around me and pretend I don't like the cold.
But I know I embrace it.
My eyes are twitching and itching to cry, but I still hold the tears back.
I see crying as surrendering to reality.
I am not ready to give up on me.
Someday, somewhere out there, there's got to be someone who will love me.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Rain
I got a speeding ticket, 95 dollars I don't have gone.
An ice cream carton hit me in the jaw on Sunday,
Only I can get hurt like that.
I got dragged by a great dane and fell.
Today it's supposed to rain.
But it's been raining on me all week.
Rain keeps pouring down on my soul,
beating me down until I feel so low.
I couldn't crawl out of this hold my mood has fallen into.
Rain keeps pouring down on my soul,
drowning all my hopes.
I'm so damn depressed.
Rain, Rain,it's raining down on me.
I replied to 16 personal ads online and no responses.
The car is falling apart.
My credit is in ruins.
There's a judgement against me and I don't even know what that means.
I'm swimming in rough waters of debt without a life perserver.
Only I could screw up my finances this bad.
Today it's supposed to rain.
But I've been getting rained on for days.
Rain keeps pouring down on my soul,
sweeping away all of my dreams.
I'm so damn depressed.
Rain, Rain go away.
Rain, Rain stop raining down on me.
I hate rainy days.
An ice cream carton hit me in the jaw on Sunday,
Only I can get hurt like that.
I got dragged by a great dane and fell.
Today it's supposed to rain.
But it's been raining on me all week.
Rain keeps pouring down on my soul,
beating me down until I feel so low.
I couldn't crawl out of this hold my mood has fallen into.
Rain keeps pouring down on my soul,
drowning all my hopes.
I'm so damn depressed.
Rain, Rain,it's raining down on me.
I replied to 16 personal ads online and no responses.
The car is falling apart.
My credit is in ruins.
There's a judgement against me and I don't even know what that means.
I'm swimming in rough waters of debt without a life perserver.
Only I could screw up my finances this bad.
Today it's supposed to rain.
But I've been getting rained on for days.
Rain keeps pouring down on my soul,
sweeping away all of my dreams.
I'm so damn depressed.
Rain, Rain go away.
Rain, Rain stop raining down on me.
I hate rainy days.
Friday, November 20, 2009
An Angel
an angel fallen down; she's wrapped up in rain drops. and she's missed even though she's never left.
an eclipse comes and it goes. every now and again someone falls in love. i always saw you, but you never saw me. angels are easy to mislead.
i'm curled up naked on the ledge of a stone fountain weeping, cold and alone. my savior and my demons went bowling and i can't go home.
a kind word from soft lips soothes a broken heart. my fractured soul can't be glued back together by one friendly smile. even an angel like you can't undo a disaster like me.
sweet and demure; tied up in lies; now i'm exposed and ugly to your eyes, but you're here. all i wanted was your attention. even a human like me has needs.
an angel would bring me a blanket and tell me it will all be alright. you're not talking to me. i'm sorry i've hurt you so but i can't go home.
an eclipse comes and it goes. every now and again someone falls in love. i always saw you, but you never saw me. angels are easy to mislead.
i'm curled up naked on the ledge of a stone fountain weeping, cold and alone. my savior and my demons went bowling and i can't go home.
a kind word from soft lips soothes a broken heart. my fractured soul can't be glued back together by one friendly smile. even an angel like you can't undo a disaster like me.
sweet and demure; tied up in lies; now i'm exposed and ugly to your eyes, but you're here. all i wanted was your attention. even a human like me has needs.
an angel would bring me a blanket and tell me it will all be alright. you're not talking to me. i'm sorry i've hurt you so but i can't go home.
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