Verb

i lay in bed mesmerized by the ceiling again.
i close my eyes and i see light and dark.
the shadows chase me when i try to sleep.
i feel my face with my fingertips.
i press against the bone underneath my flesh.
i feel caged in and i want to dig my nails into my skin
and tear away what brings me pain.

the path is getting narrow.
the darkness is getting stronger.
i'm turning into a being of pure feeling.
my senses are reeling.
i don't know if it's the drugs leaving or the real me being.

this life of people, lies, and sex smells like shit.
i want to break my own neck.
when the sun hides, when the clouds conceal; that's when my mind comes alive.
i spin through a billion thoughts.
i'm devoured nerve by nerve.
the air is pushing down and in on me.
all i suffer is never enough.

sacrifice me at your will.
i'm breaking down.
i can't stay wrapped up in a bubble.
i think too damn much.
i am power; raw, sensual, sexual fire.
all the reality blurs as my world collapses with one word, verb!

Two Percent

caught up in my emotional hurricane,
never stopping to take a break.
one day i'm going to cave.
trying to hold up against the storm.
board up the windows and lock the doors.
i just got to wait until it fades.

no amount of prayer can bail me out.
the damage is all around me
and i can't find a way out.
i pick up the pieces
and try to clean up after myself,
but at the end of the day i am not done.
i worry it'll never be okay.

the clock has run out on me.
i can try but never do.
the rain pours down on me.
my inner winds never die down.
i've built up a person
i can't support.
there's nothing i can do,
but watch it all burn.

caught up in the wildfire of my mistakes.
unable to see through the smoke.
i'm trying to put out my misery,
but it's only two percent contained.
trying to hold off the collapse,
but the firing is rolling in,
and i don't have enough to put out the flames.
this the day i finally cave!