Over This

i'm over this. the falling asleep with the cell phone praying you'll call.
jumping at every beep thinking you've reached out to me.
i'm over this. the waiting for you to keep your word.
the anxiousness tied to not knowing how you feel.
i'm over this. the way you do just enough to string me along.
your nonchalant attitude towards our love.

you told me you loved me.
you said you wanted to make a baby with me.
you sold me every shining piece of you and when i bought into you;
you switched yourself out with a cold distant son of a bitch whose never here!

i'm over this. begging for a minute of your attention.
being frustrated and unsatisfied every time you leave me.
i'm over this. my needs being laughed at by you.
my emotions being ignored.
i'm over this. you acting like i'm nothing to you.
everyone and everything being more important then me to you.

you said we'd be together forever.
you told me i'd be in your world.
you painted a perfect picture of a happy family and when i went to hang it on the wall;
the picture fell apart, crashed to the ground into a 1,000 pieces.

i'm over this. not knowing what you want or need from me.
hoping you show up when you say you will.
i'm over this. your vague excuses and justifications for your behavior.
your worn out speeches on patience.
i'm over this. because i deserve so much more!
because my heart is NOT your revolving door!

More Than We Deserve

i want to ease your pain.
i want to carry your sorrows away.
your happiness matters to me.
i don't want to be a burden to you.
i don't want to be another chore.
i know i worry too much.
this love is moving faster then the speed of light.
i want this to be the last love i have.

i tend to forget to remember it's only been a little while.
my desire to please you sustains me.
when you don't respond quickly i get tied up in a knot,
but you unravel me easily, with a word or touch!

you've become my whole world, but i'm not yours.
we aren't balanced against each other's hearts.
it hurts me to still be separated from all of you.
and to know i can't yet share every part of you.
my patience is being tested and i want to pass!

i feel like i pressure you too much sometimes.
i hold my breath, afraid to let go to this emotion.
i want to give you all of me, but you can't handle that yet.
i don't want to screw this one up.
i love you too much!

today i found out you're allergic to cats!
how did i not know that!
what else don't i know about you?
time is the cruelest tease.
it promises forever with you but moves so slowly;
i grow anxious.

my own mind stacks the deck against me.
i won't let my insecurities doom us.
you are the sun and i revolve around you.
my heart is on board but my doubts are working hard not to be ignored.
i work myself up into a fear frenzy for no reason, but your voice calms me.

you settle my nerves.
i know one day soon we won't be apart anymore.
our worlds are destined to merge!
our love will grow stronger because we both love each other more then we deserve.

Supermoon

i confess my love to you with anxious breath.
i wait for your response, breathlessly, for you to talk.
then you break the silence with i'm falling for you too.
happiness replaces my fear and i feel like i've taken flight.
frenzied kisses and hugs embrace our newly declared love.

there's technicalities everywhere.
there's baggage to be lifted out of the way,
but i'm willing to do the heavy lifting to keep you.
now i know you love me too! you love me too!

i knew from the first phone call you were different.
you want to disappear into us like i do.
we both show each other our insecurities.
we are exchanging our deepest secrets.
we fit together so perfectly, it's a little scary!

i spend all my seconds with you on my mind.
my body aches to feel you inside.
love has never felt so alive!
i'd do anything for just one kiss.
i feel possessive.
i want you to be mine until the end of time!

we're attempting to create a new life together.
you love to be intimate with me.
and i revel in every touch!
my body is ready for you at the sound of your name.
this love cannot be tamed.

tonight we'll make love outside under the supermoon on your kid's trampoline.
you'll fill me with your seed.
the two of us, naked, covered in the sweat of our love's labors.
we will make a memory that will last forever!

Unasked

are you a dream?
i try to hold you but you always disappear.
are you a drug?
the more i get from you the more i want from you.
are you real?
you're too perfect to exist.

this game we're playing leaves me confused.
you won't give me the rules.
i'm chasing your shadow on a cloudy day, but when you smile all my doubts melt away.
i deserve more.

are you for me?
i have no idea what you want from me.
are you missing me?
you say you think about me sometimes, but is it as much as i think about you.
are you going to stay?
i'm scared you'll take my heart and run away.

this one sided dialogue is starting to loop.
i'm doing as i'm told, but i'd rather have you to hold.
i'm trying to savor our moments, but they pass too quickly.
i deserve you!

are you playing with me?
i'm feeling vunerable to you, but you come across so cold.
are you going to hurt me?
i've placed my trust into your hands, but i worry you don't care.
are you falling in love with me?
i know men and women don't fall in the same ways.

i am falling helplessly in love with you.
all these questions swirl unasked and unanswered in my mind.
i think about you all the time.
i dream about you every night.
you have all the answers, but i'm afraid to ask.
what if your answers aren't what i want to hear?
i wonder if you'll ever leave her.
i kick start your heart, but she's familiar to you.

are we going to explode or fall apart?
this won't end well.
are we both going to hell?
my happy ending will be a nightmare.
are you ready to risk it all for me?
that means you will lose her and then i might lose you.

i'm ready to put it all on the line for you, are you going to do the same for me?