I Don't Mind the Quiet

I don't mind the quiet.
There's enough noise in my head.
When all is chaos the quiet is my friend.
I try to sort through all my thoughts and find the ones I've forgot.

I don't mind the quiet.
It brought me this song.
A soft reminder of my gentle soul.
I enjoy the moments of soundless bliss.
The comfort of quiet is refreshing after the busy of the day.

I don't mind the quiet.
I spent the last hour staring at the rain hitting the window.
I don't know where it all goes.
I think more when I can't hear you.

I don't mind the quiet.
I do get lonely sometimes and bored.
But after some time in silence I feel better.
I think the quiet washes me clean and prepares me for another day.

I don't mind the quiet.
Sometimes I do nothing at all.
No thoughts, no sorrows, no pain just quiet and calm.
This world spins so fast and the quiet never lasts.

I don't mind the quiet.
I miss it when I don't get it.
I need these tranquil moments to listen to my heart.
I know the quiet is a friend that never overstays its welcome.

I don't mind the quiet.
I wish I could have more, but life is loud, it wants to be heard.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
The quiet will leave me soon enough, but now I relish it!

Swimming

what about me swims in your head?
my weakness is your kisses.
i see you and my heart does a flip.
this world spins faster then i can deal with.
i see clarity when i'm away from you,
but when you're near i'm blinded by you.
this triangle has become bermuda,
when you enter me the world disappears.
only 10% of your time has been mine.
who swims in your head when i'm not around?

what holds you to her?
my thoughts are curious about you two.
you tell me she bores you.
you feel smothered and like it's all falling apart with her.
you don't want to hurt her,
but you don't hesitate to stomp on my heart.
there's no love that can bind you,
yet two women are slaves to you.
i know it swells up both of your heads.
this is the ultimate power of the worst kind.
whose the one that will be your downfall?

24 Ways

i got to stop thinking, that's when my troubles start.
when i think i got it all figured out, that's when it falls apart.
i keep putting all my eggs in one broken basket.
i think that makes me the basket case.

i don't know why i am always out of place.
all guys want to do is play with my boobies;
then they're off to find someone prettier then me.
i've given up trying to fulfill my own desires.

i was hoping you'd be different, but you aren't,
as long as i have a choice, i will choose the wrong man.
i'm drawn to the ones that play my heart strings.
they master me then they want someone else.
the right woman is always the woman after me.

the longest relationship i've had was 4 years.
he spent 2 of them out of the country,
we waited 18 months for the divorce to finalize,
so he spent a whopping 6 months under the same roof as me.
he cried, as he screamed at me, you are impossible to love.
i think it hurt so bad, because i knew he was right.

am i so awful? selfish? cold? distant? crazy?
i could go on with the list of adjectives i've been called,
but it would take all day to get through them all.
i've tried to grow and learn from each failure.
i've found out 24 ways how NOT to have a successful relationship.
maybe number 25 will be the one that it all comes together perfectly!

i've dumped a few and a few have dumped me.
so it's pretty much even on that front.
i've never cheated, but i've lied.
i know there were times i could have tried hard,
but i get bored so easily.

in these moments of self-reflection,
i see the would haves, could haves, and the should haves,
all lined up in one long funeral procession.
i have my own dirge to dance around to in my head.

i still dare to hope that somewhere out there,
beyond the fear,
i hear of soul mates and whispers of ever-lasting love.
i'm not that ambitious though,
but a smackerel of love just might be enough to see me through!

Randomness

i have found strength when i thought i had none.
i took a leap of faith when i fell in love with you.
my past stunted my growth,but my future has appeared.

why can't i be brilliant?

i think it is time to get back on the horse.
i need to lasso my imperfections,
put the proverbial horse back in the barn.

i remember what matters.
i have to learn to want what i already have.
perfection and human are contradictions.

all my random thoughts tackle me.
peace has come at last.
i succumb to the darkness within me.
now it is time to sleep.

Unnoticed

my heart broke and no one noticed.
my soul froze and no one paused.
my whole world crashed and burned
and the world just kept chugging along without a care.

i guess that should make me feel better.
losing you didn't kill me,
but i feel dead!
i go to bed at 8pm.
i sleep courtesy of pills.
i only eat what clogs my arteries.
i want my heart to hurt.
the pain reminds me to breathe.

my days are boring.
there's nothing to look forward to anymore.
you spoiled me.
when i had you i felt buoyant.
now everything is still in color,
but the brightness has faded;
unlike my longing for you.

my heart broke and no one noted.
my soul choked and no one commented.
my whole world disappeared
and no one has missed me, not even you!

Monochrome

I am monochromatic today.
From my boots to my roots,
I am a variety of beige.
My flesh and my underthings
All play off the same color today.

From sober and heavy,
To Light and airy,
Beige blends and transcends,
I'm draped in a monochromatic blend.
Sepia tones address
My blandest mood depresses.

The sky is dark.
The rain is clear.
And I am 10 types of brown.
From the bark of the trees
To the ground,
I've honed into this frequency
of a polychrome delinquency.

I am monochromatic today.
Hear my monotone voice.
Feel the calm of the dull.
Embrace the fawn inside.
And let your inner taupe define
Another boring day on the outside.

Thought One

Am I real?
Did I imagine me?
I feel like I am so much more then what others see me to be.
I don't know what to do about it.
I am perplexed over my anxiety to over achieve.
I am lazy and restless.
I am bored and depressed.
I want to be in love.

I want a man.
Yes, I confessed.
I want a man in my life.
My other half whether it's for better or worse.
I am tired of facing off with the world alone.
I am trying too hardto be what a man would find appealing.
I pursue any man that shows interest until his interst is killed by my over enthusiasm.
I can't win for losing.