Creeper

why do you come around here?
don't you know all you cause is fear?
take a hint creeper and fuck off!

you spring yourself on people like a bear trap.
your alcoholic stupor leaves a stench!
take a hint creeper and slink off;
back into the dark where you came from!

i don't want you!
i don't like you!
your eyes creep me out!
i know you're disappointed.
you thought i'd be easy, but you make my skin crawl!

creeper take the short road home!
i want you gone forever.
i'm locking my doors.
i'm checking them twice.
i'm finished being nice.
loser, take this advice, creeper someone else!

it's not my job to prop you up.
i'm not your friend.
this has to end.
don't hang around like the unwanted fly on the wall.
have some pride and leave!
i can't take your creepy ways anymore!

take the bus creeper.
take the train creeper.
just take the next step out of here creeper!
leave me be!

Button

he should be angry but he's not.
i should've found a button to push by now, but i've not.
he's unpredictable and it's freaking me out.
he zigs when i zag.
he'd driving me mad!

desire flares my nostrils and dilates my pupils.
physically he provokes uncontrollable responses from me.
emotionally he confuses the fuck out of me.
i can't figure him out.
maybe he's playing me, but i got to find out.

he says one thing and does another.
i say i'm done, but i can't walk away.
he's never what i expect him to be.
he brings out every side of me.
he's always one step ahead of me!

happiness makes me smile and laugh.
cosmically he makes me feel alive again.
mentally we're acting like teenagers.
i'm unable to process all these emotions.
maybe it's time to run!

Cursed

i'm going to surrender myself to your love.
the sacrifice i make is to lose my heart, but i hope i will be redeemed.
if you disagree all i'll have for company is misery.
i hate to suffer through another broken heart, so let yourself fall in love with me!

i've worked hard to find peace inside of me.
i want to give you everything, but i'm scared you don't feel the same.
it's enough to drive me insane.
life isn't worth living without taking risks and i'm all in for you!

i'm getting a strong sense of deja vu.
the pattern has begun to emerge.
you aren't on the same page as me,
i'm beginning to wonder if we are reading the same book.
you can't figure out where i'm coming from.
when did it become a crime to fall in love!

my stupidity knows no bounds.
i let my heart lead the charge and i've been executed.
you shake your head and wash your hands of me.
you refuse to take any responsibility.
you call me delusional and silly.
my heart shatters and my hopes scatter into the wind.

why is it always over before it even begins?
i get myself all wound up for nothing.
he let the air out of all my balloons.
why am i a toy for so many men?
i throw myself off the steepest cliff, but isn't that what love is?

i can't roll around in the mud of my regrets.
i'm stronger then the latest man to let me down.
i pack up my emotional baggage and put it on a shelf in my closet.
there's alway another one to love around the bend
and i don't ever hesitate jumping in.

i hate that lonliness has become my best friend.
i spend hours trying to figure out what is wrong with me.
i have multiple diagnosis, but no solutions.
love destroys me but i keep crawling back for more.
he was the latest in a long line of failures.
i find men easily, but i can't keep them around!

my heart and soul are bound to tragedy.
am i paying a price for some horrid past?
i never meant to break any hearts.
my tears have disappeared over the years.
i won't forget the words you said to me,
"you're too cold to ever keep a love alive"
i think you cursed me for good because i'm always alone.

The Calm of Dying

i have to uncover my own voice.
i found my intentions, but i'm scared to tell you.
fear nails my mouth shut.
i'm not able to do this by myself,
but if you aren't in on this, it makes trying pointless.

september is a peaceful month,
full of the calm of dying.
nature gives up the ghost
and the leaves give one last show.
then they all fall down, dead, onto the ground.

i wish i had death's patience.
death never rushes, but waits calmly.
it knows we all have to die some day,
but i need to focus on living,
while i'm able to do what needs to be done.

i have to take my newly discovered ambitions
all the way to the end this time.
there's something i've wanted for a long time.
i never thought i deserved to have anymore.
now i'm sure my job isn't done.
i'm scared but excited too.

i'm giving myself a deadline.
you have to have a goal to achieve anything.
i might end up disappointed
or in a huge messy situation,
but i am ready to take this step.
it is better to ask for forgiveness then permission!

Scared Little Boy

the more things change, the more i get screwed
there is no me, there is no you
we are two people unattached to each other
you try to light a fire under me,
but after all your ranting i just want to cry.

you take the words i say and twist their meaning
nothing means everything to you
i'm sad to be back in your convoluted circle
a part of me will always love you
but i'm sick of you telling me what to do
maybe it was better when you weren't speaking to me

you tell me you love me to death
that explains why it's killing me to have you around
you're an expert swimmer in muddy water
you tell me to figure out what i want
that's easy, i'm crazy, because i want you

the more i need you, the more you disappear
you've been an optical illusion all along
you look like a man, you talk like a man
but underneath all that bravado,
you're just a scared little boy!

The Hospital

another 4 hours i won't get back
sitting on a gurney with a cold back
another medical scare
i am getting sick of these
i'm starting to not care

needles in my arm
veins missed and bruises formed
legs scanned for blood clots
it's just the pill
but i'm fat and old
so too much can go wrong

i didn't want to say anything
i'd rather just die
but i'm scared to die
so i do as i'm told
but it's all okay
just more money thrown away

i'm not sick
i'm not sick
i'm not ill
i'm not ill
i'm not diseased
i'm not diseased

please just leave me be.
i'm tired and alone.
i'm my own worse enemy.
i feed off concern and sympathy.
i don't want to die,
but i'm not alive.

God help me let go of this negativity.
my feelings are my only handicap.
cleanse me of my impurities
let me see how blessed life can be.
no more hospitals for me.

Que Sera Sera

Plans are made and things are looking good to you
And then at the last minute it all falls through
That’s the way it is
That’s the way it goes
And no one knows what it means
When life decides to laugh in your face

He smiled at you and you smiled back
He didn’t stop and you didn’t turn around
Just two people scared to death to fall in love
Another day and another door slams on your toe
That’s the way it is
That’s the way it goes
And no one cares what it means
When life spits on your shoes

You’re late to work and the deadline is past
You’re called a slacker and loser
You just can’t pay all the bills this month
The car’s going back to the shop
You’re so behind the curve
That’s the way it is
That’s the way it goes
And no one says Tomorrow won’t be so bad
When life thinks your time has come

Everybody is dazed and confused
That’s the way it is
That’s the way it goes
Que Sera, Sera
When life happens to pass you by
When your life isn’t what you thought it would be
That’s just life’s way