My New Heart

you caught me with my walls down.
you walked right in and staked your claim.
i don't want to fight this.
i'm letting you take control.
i'm letting go!

hearts beat to different drums
but when i'm with you we beat as one.
goodbyes, tears and fears fade away.
my dreams dance around your face.
i want to be yours!

i caught your eye on a lucky day,
but you make your own luck you say!
i find my mind stuck on you.
i can't wait for you to take me.
i'm yearning and burning for you to be inside of me!
i'm losing control!

i feel dainty and sexy with you.
you make me be more of a woman.
i don't waste time on being insecure.
there's a twinkle in your eyes.
with your strength i feel strong.
in your arms i finally belong!

i'm have the time of my life;
exploring my submissive side.
i've waited so long for a man like you.
i'd do anything to have you smile at me.
my own needs are met when i meet yours.
this is the start of my new heart!

Rent Free

a couple of clicks of the mouse and i sent your cheating heart out to her.
she was clueless, but now she's aware.
you aren't up on her pedestal anymore.
i shot an arrow through all of our hearts.

you told me you'd never talk to me again.
the fallout from you was expected.
i'm hoping now that the cord between us has been so coldly severed i can move on from you.
you weren't good to me.
i'm a person, but you only took from me.

i feel in control finally.
i'm sad she had to be caught in the middle.
i have to take what i've learned from you dominance of me.
i can't let you live rent free in my head anymore.

my stomach turns at the thought of coming face to face with you.
so far you've stayed away.
i didn't mean to chase you off of facebook or out of your apartment.
time will heal these wounds too!

i know you'll twist my words into what you need.
i wasn't able to tell you our relationship was hurting me.
when you touch me i lose all my senses.
there was only one way i could think to end this.
i crossed that line and now i need to stay strong.

i didn't matter to you.
you hurt me again and again and i LET YOU!!!
i have to accept that i created my own cage and gave you the key.
i have to answer to myself why i let you use me without mercy.
i have forgiveness in my heart for you,
and with time it'll get better for all of us!

Silence, Do You Some Good?!

silence is more precious then gold.
leave the sound out of your mind.
focus on what you're feeling.
breathe slow and deep to relax.
can you reach a peaceful place yet?

close your eyes to block out the world.
hold yourself for comfort.
your the only one that's always there for you.
focus on every tactile brush of your hand.
come and find what sets you free.

do you need a pill to see?
are you addicted to the numbness?
let the anger flow out of you.
let the creativity take control of you.
reclaim your soul.

my dreams are full of darkness.
i ca't forget the pain.
i'm unable to focus my thoughts.
purgatory is living;
hell is ignoring you're alive.

freedom is relative;
i've built a hell hole.
my hidden self trapped.
focus on the light.
move toward the sunshine;
one step at a time.

i see.
i feel.
the numbness has begun to fade,
but here comes the pain!

In Between

i'm sitting here thinking about my life.
there's been so many up's and down's.
i've had high's and low's around every guy,
but lately, i feel hung up in between heartbreak and happiness.

there's no tears or screams this time.
i got all i need and most of what i wanted.
i'm tired of reaching beyond my means.
i may not have everything but i'm in between rich and poor.

the quiet surrounds me and i'm content.
i've gotten used to the mundane.
there's nothing wrong with me.
i enjoy the moments of solitude.
i like being in between over and under whelmed.

some would complain that all the passion is gone,
but i adore the peace in my heart.
no amount of money could buy me this mellow groove.
i dance around humming an upbeat melody.
i'm going to savor every in between day!

hurry me up or slow me down,
i'm not going to complain.
there's a complacent tone in my soul.
there's a smile on my face.
so you can be in between my good side and bad side,
and i won't get mad.

the holy spirit isn't whispering to me today.
my thoughts are coming at a good pace.
i've got my time lined up nice and neat.
i'll stay in between busy and bored this week.

you might joke about my obliviousness.
i'd walk past a fire in complete calm.
i'm centered and complete.
if i could stay in between heaven and hell for the rest of my life,
i'd be okay!

Better

tied to a butterfly's wings my anxiety flies away.
the wind and rain pound onto my heart in vain.
my strength waivers at times but i maintain i matter.
today i feel better!

happiness has never defined my life.
my personality teeters between crazy and crazier.
i give each man i love all i got but it ain't ever enough.
today i'll do better!

mood swings and personal demons take their toll.
i'm hard to like and harder to love.
the medication only destroys what makes me shine.
today i'll be better!

lonesome tears stain my cheeks.
life's sorrows overfill my cup.
on each horizon i see the road i should have been on.
today i'll choose better!

tomorrow brings unpredictable feelings.
i might be happy or i might be sad.
there's no way for me to make any kind of guarantee,
but today i was better!