Chasing Ghosts

my depression is absolute. i see ghosts all around. the ghost of who i was. the ghost of who i thought i'd be. the ghosts of those i love who are no longer with me. i'm haunted all the way to my soul. these so called cures aren't worth the side effects. i thought myself to doom. i believed i would be immune. my ignorance rushed me and i finally saw i'm already dead.

there is a distortion in the sounds surrounding me. i'm always off key. i want the resurrection promised on the death of a savior lost. i repent for all my sins; it doesn't matter if i was caught. they're here punishing me in my head. i want freedom from my flesh. i need will power to walk away, to do what's best. the road is clear; i fell through the potholes. i see what i fear and what i need the most are one and the same. love keeps me chasing my ghosts.

i demand to know who made the rules. i suffer at the end of my rainbow there's no treasure waiting. where is my perfect match. the yin to my yang. the precious inspiration on every cheesy poster, t-shirt, and self help book has crucified my heart. i'm being taunted by every hand holding, smiling, laughing happy couple i see and those damn ghosts won't let me forget when that used to be me. but i thought there was better, something more in someone else, but it was a fruitless search. when you're dead there is no happy ending.