Untitled

i'm floating inside myself
an Effervescence feeling spreading
through my nervous system
my vision blurs
my feet feel light as air
my head is spinning
almost like an angel has
lifted me up with its hands

flashes of memories locked away
inside a corroding brain
desperately fight to remain
before they're erased by
some mundane fact
or abandoned into nothing
like a penny on the sidewalk
no one bothers to pick up
because it's worth so little

i've detached from my skin
it's milky white porcelain cold
molds and folds over an ugly
sack of water
i am no more then flesh
and i am no less a sentient being
i feel like a doll that's had
her head ripped off and
been thrown in the trash

life is joke and death is the punch line
all i hope for is some laughter
and some love but i find today
i have no sense of humor
so i'll have to walk around
the vacant hallways of knowledge
until i see that i'm nothing at all

all i imagined life to be
those one day when i grow up dreams
have fallen far from the mark
no one can blame my parents
or my childhood or my siblings
they're all stronger then me
i'm the black sheep
the kink in the family chain

jubilantly i curse myself
inside and out i count my flaws
perplexed by my diversity
and complete lack of ethics
i fit only when i don't belong
fate's meaning crystal clear
i know where i end and where
i began the circle completes
at our first forced screams
i can't win this ancient war
i surrender then all goes dark