there's alot of loose ends floating around. there's hurt feelings cascading down. there's the end of something beautiful coming. i taste the blood on your tongue. i kiss you for a bittersweet goodbye. i pull away and with me i take the knife from your heart.
i'm so sorry baby. i hate who i am when i'm with you. i didn't mean to do this so badly. i've never been able to leave a room without a huff. but it's not enough. you want reasons or at least a creative excuse. i've got neither.
this was tragically slow.i didn't enojy it baby. i know you think i did. i'm sorry baby. there was a better way. i just couldn't take the time. i was urgently dying inside to let you go. it broke you apart. you swear you'll never be whole again. take it from me it's not that bad.
i'm so sorry baby. i can't stay. i hear the anger in your voice. i see the disappointment in your eyes. you built those hopes and dreams on my back. i should've told you i'm weak.
baby, i know my flaws. they were there all along. you were blinded by love. i must've hurt you when i ripped that blindfold off. i'm so sorry baby. there's no escaping it. it's time to move on. you can't keep me in your cage of love forever. it's not fun but it's got to be done. i'm so sorry baby, but i'm through with you.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Cupid's Arrow
i've left love behind me but i know i'll be back again, someday. i run and i hide but cupid's damn arrow keeps finding me. i don't trust what my heart whispers to me. i've been wrong too many times to let my instincts guide me.
it's like there's a neon flashing sign on my forehead that screams, losers apply here in bright hot flashing pink.
i do things my own way in my own time. it's the road i've been on for a long time. i can't give up my control to anyone else. it holds me together when things go wrong. i hold on tight to my independence. this offends so many guys, i've even made some of them cry.
it's like there's a neon flashing sign on my forehead that screams, losers apply here in bright hot flashing pink.
i do things my own way in my own time. it's the road i've been on for a long time. i can't give up my control to anyone else. it holds me together when things go wrong. i hold on tight to my independence. this offends so many guys, i've even made some of them cry.
The Attitude
hello, how r u? stop right there, before u say 2 much, i don't care enough 2 listen. becuz i'm young & lazy. i'm restless & 1/2 crazy. what doesn't touch me, what i don't see, what i don't hear, just doesn't effect me.
u see i don't care. so move it along, i got shit 2 do or nothing 2 do, doesn't matter it's all better then talking 2 u. i don't give a fuck about the world. i don't give a damn about a single person in it. not even me. & i won't shed a tear if it all disappeared. becuz i'm young & lazy. i'm restless & 1/2 crazy. what doesn't touch me, what i don't see, what i don't hear, just doesn't effect me.
u should know u raised me. i get what i want when i want it. u buy me over & over again. u tell me i did a good job whether i did r not. so y bother 2 care. i'm spoiled. u always say it, so who gives a fuck if i lay here all damn day. becuz i'm young & lazy. i'm restless & 1/2 crazy. what doesn't touch me, what i don't see, what i don't hear, just doesn't effect me.
u see i don't care. so move it along, i got shit 2 do or nothing 2 do, doesn't matter it's all better then talking 2 u. i don't give a fuck about the world. i don't give a damn about a single person in it. not even me. & i won't shed a tear if it all disappeared. becuz i'm young & lazy. i'm restless & 1/2 crazy. what doesn't touch me, what i don't see, what i don't hear, just doesn't effect me.
u should know u raised me. i get what i want when i want it. u buy me over & over again. u tell me i did a good job whether i did r not. so y bother 2 care. i'm spoiled. u always say it, so who gives a fuck if i lay here all damn day. becuz i'm young & lazy. i'm restless & 1/2 crazy. what doesn't touch me, what i don't see, what i don't hear, just doesn't effect me.
An Angel
an angel fallen down; she's wrapped up in rain drops. and she's missed even though she's never left.
an eclipse comes and it goes. every now and again someone falls in love. i always saw you, but you never saw me. angels are easy to mislead.
i'm curled up naked on the ledge of a stone fountain weeping, cold and alone. my savior and my demons went bowling and i can't go home.
a kind word from soft lips soothes a broken heart. my fractured soul can't be glued back together by one friendly smile. even an angel like you can't undo a disaster like me.
sweet and demure; tied up in lies; now i'm exposed and ugly to your eyes, but you're here. all i wanted was your attention. even a human like me has needs.
an angel would bring me a blanket and tell me it will all be alright. you're not talking to me. i'm sorry i've hurt you so but i can't go home.
an eclipse comes and it goes. every now and again someone falls in love. i always saw you, but you never saw me. angels are easy to mislead.
i'm curled up naked on the ledge of a stone fountain weeping, cold and alone. my savior and my demons went bowling and i can't go home.
a kind word from soft lips soothes a broken heart. my fractured soul can't be glued back together by one friendly smile. even an angel like you can't undo a disaster like me.
sweet and demure; tied up in lies; now i'm exposed and ugly to your eyes, but you're here. all i wanted was your attention. even a human like me has needs.
an angel would bring me a blanket and tell me it will all be alright. you're not talking to me. i'm sorry i've hurt you so but i can't go home.
Zingers, Ho Ho’s, and Oreo Cakester’s Oh My!
Lately, I've been swallowing my sorrow in the shape and form of many a chocolate treat. The concept of the treats are the same. They are all chocolate. They are all fattening. They are all the best invention since sliced bread. I wish I could blame PMS but that's a week or so away. I wish I could say I'm horribly depressed, but I smiled and laughed today. I wish they had no calories. The zingers I adore. The creamy dreamy middle's that send my taste buds into heaven. The cool glass of skim milk that washes it all down, doesn't make the chocolate oreo cakester's a well balanced meal. I've bought the hostess cupcakes on a whim. I resisted the little debbie fudge rounds, but succumbed to nutter butter's instead. Oh, when will this cornucopia of chocolate end?
I do love chocolate, but it doesn't love me. My hips are wider, the numbers on the scale are climbing higher, and my cravings are louder then ever before. What chocolate treat shall i seek out next. I must control myself. I must withhold that which i cannot resist and learn to go without chocolate to exist.
I am a choc-aholic. I'm Shannon and I approve this message.
I do love chocolate, but it doesn't love me. My hips are wider, the numbers on the scale are climbing higher, and my cravings are louder then ever before. What chocolate treat shall i seek out next. I must control myself. I must withhold that which i cannot resist and learn to go without chocolate to exist.
I am a choc-aholic. I'm Shannon and I approve this message.
Just for You
I got up today just for you. i took a shower just for you. i got dressed in clean clothes just for you. when all is lost i pull myself together just for you.
all i do and all i say is with you on my mind and your name on the tip of my tongue. i can't function without you in my life. i breathe just for you. my heart beats just for you. my dreams are about you. my happy endings are with you. i'm me just for you.
i wrote this just for you. i made pizza just for you. i bought this perfume just for you. when i think i can't go on i pull myself together just for you.
all i do and all i say is with you on my mind and your name on the tip of my tongue. i can't function without you in my life. i breathe just for you. my heart beats just for you. my dreams are about you. my happy endings are with you. i'm me just for you.
i wrote this just for you. i made pizza just for you. i bought this perfume just for you. when i think i can't go on i pull myself together just for you.
The Illusion of Symmetry
one eye is smaller then the other. the smile is crooked. and i looks as if my nose twisted to the left a little. in the reflection of my internal mirror i scream out to myself each little imperfection until i cry. i pick apart all that i am and all that i am not is magnified. the illusion of symmetry is shattered.
a nip and a tuck. dressed in black from head to toe. some concealer and lipstick then no one will know. cover it up and bury it. i can't show the flaws to the general public. the cracks in the sidewalk must be hidden in daylight even if i trip. the illusion of society's beauty must be kept.
a nip and a tuck. dressed in black from head to toe. some concealer and lipstick then no one will know. cover it up and bury it. i can't show the flaws to the general public. the cracks in the sidewalk must be hidden in daylight even if i trip. the illusion of society's beauty must be kept.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Empty Promises
Empty promises, full of lies
Smoke and mirrors mystify
Dreams go by
You’ve missed your chance
This is goodbye
What does NO mean to you?
How can I tell you…?
I don’t want to see you anymore.
I am past my loser phase.
I need a man to lean on
A man with love to give
And not a past chaining him down
You walk in a mist of your own lies
Make believe stories where
You are the good guy
It’s never your fault
Everybody is bringing you down
You can’t see the mistakes
Are yours and yours alone
You aren’t taking me down
Empty promises, full of lies
Smoke and mirrors mystify
Dreams go by
You’ve missed your chance
This is goodbye
You are able to justify
A life drifting in loserville
You can see good
Where all that’s left is begging
For a dollar here and there
You wander why no one sticks around
Look in a mirror
Look in a mirror
Are you scared to admit?
The truth hurts
When you can’t take it
Running does no good
It’ll get to you sooner or later
Lies only make you feel better
But emptiness swallows you
Depression hollows your words
You are a shell of a man
Saying what you think you should
Going through the motions
But you think the world revolves around you
So I am cutting the ties
To get away from the misery you spread
Smoke and mirrors mystify
Dreams go by
You’ve missed your chance
This is goodbye
What does NO mean to you?
How can I tell you…?
I don’t want to see you anymore.
I am past my loser phase.
I need a man to lean on
A man with love to give
And not a past chaining him down
You walk in a mist of your own lies
Make believe stories where
You are the good guy
It’s never your fault
Everybody is bringing you down
You can’t see the mistakes
Are yours and yours alone
You aren’t taking me down
Empty promises, full of lies
Smoke and mirrors mystify
Dreams go by
You’ve missed your chance
This is goodbye
You are able to justify
A life drifting in loserville
You can see good
Where all that’s left is begging
For a dollar here and there
You wander why no one sticks around
Look in a mirror
Look in a mirror
Are you scared to admit?
The truth hurts
When you can’t take it
Running does no good
It’ll get to you sooner or later
Lies only make you feel better
But emptiness swallows you
Depression hollows your words
You are a shell of a man
Saying what you think you should
Going through the motions
But you think the world revolves around you
So I am cutting the ties
To get away from the misery you spread
ILL
Gray eyes blood shot and puffy
Dark bruised looking circles under my eyes
Pale translucent skin
Shaking cold hands
A cotton stuffed nose
Slapped with a brick across the forehead
Aching shoulders
Tension filled neck
Throbbing and burning left calf muscle
I am sick
ILL
Diseased
Under the weather
Deluded into thinking I am not contagious
I walk amongst my co-workers
Spreading the viral infections
Germs thriving and breeding
In a Society filled with people
To feed off of
I am sick
ILL
Diseased
Wrapped up into a world where taking off work is a dream
I continue to share my misery
Every time I sneeze
Bless me, bless me
Every time I cough
Pain fills me
Fire from my throat
Cracked lips moan
A daze of dullness blankets me
I am sick
ILL
Diseased
Under the Weather
Not feeling good
A corpse looks better
Exhausted I plunge onward
Wary of the cold
The iciness of the air strangles my breath
The coldness chills me to the very bones
Stomach clenches and knots
Nerves jangle and scream
Life doesn’t stop for me
When I am sick.
Dark bruised looking circles under my eyes
Pale translucent skin
Shaking cold hands
A cotton stuffed nose
Slapped with a brick across the forehead
Aching shoulders
Tension filled neck
Throbbing and burning left calf muscle
I am sick
ILL
Diseased
Under the weather
Deluded into thinking I am not contagious
I walk amongst my co-workers
Spreading the viral infections
Germs thriving and breeding
In a Society filled with people
To feed off of
I am sick
ILL
Diseased
Wrapped up into a world where taking off work is a dream
I continue to share my misery
Every time I sneeze
Bless me, bless me
Every time I cough
Pain fills me
Fire from my throat
Cracked lips moan
A daze of dullness blankets me
I am sick
ILL
Diseased
Under the Weather
Not feeling good
A corpse looks better
Exhausted I plunge onward
Wary of the cold
The iciness of the air strangles my breath
The coldness chills me to the very bones
Stomach clenches and knots
Nerves jangle and scream
Life doesn’t stop for me
When I am sick.
Save Me
Save Me
Save me from who I am
Save me from who I used to be
Save me from everyone I hate
Save me from myself
Save me for good
Save me for bad
All that life can be had
Save me for tomorrow
Save me for your sorrowful tales
Lies and spies will save the world
But will you save me?
Save me from who I am
Save me from who I used to be
Save me from everyone I hate
Save me from myself
Save me for good
Save me for bad
All that life can be had
Save me for tomorrow
Save me for your sorrowful tales
Lies and spies will save the world
But will you save me?
I am sad
I am sad
I am lonely
I feel like crying
I am fat
I am ugly
I can’t shut up
I am up
I am down
I just hate life
“I am lost inside myself. I am twisted in a knot of despair.”
“I can’t break free and tell you about me, because I don’t know who I am”
I am hurt
I am angry
I get left out
I am deaf
I am blind
I have no heart
I am outside
I am beside
I never get inside
“I am lost inside myself. I am twisted in a knot of despair.”
“I can’t break free and tell you about me, because I don’t know who I am”
I am here
I am there
I do not know you
I am scared
I am confused
I cannot feel you
I am numb
I am mute
I just am
“I am lost inside myself. I am twisted in a knot of despair.”
“I can’t break free and tell you about me, because I don’t know who I am”
I just am.
I am lonely
I feel like crying
I am fat
I am ugly
I can’t shut up
I am up
I am down
I just hate life
“I am lost inside myself. I am twisted in a knot of despair.”
“I can’t break free and tell you about me, because I don’t know who I am”
I am hurt
I am angry
I get left out
I am deaf
I am blind
I have no heart
I am outside
I am beside
I never get inside
“I am lost inside myself. I am twisted in a knot of despair.”
“I can’t break free and tell you about me, because I don’t know who I am”
I am here
I am there
I do not know you
I am scared
I am confused
I cannot feel you
I am numb
I am mute
I just am
“I am lost inside myself. I am twisted in a knot of despair.”
“I can’t break free and tell you about me, because I don’t know who I am”
I just am.
I got my coffee in a Dr. Pepper can
I got my coffee in a Dr. Pepper can…
I got my life on post it notes stuffed in my purse…
I got my heart out for sale on ebay…
I got my attitude on t-shirts…
I got my brains in the computer…
I got a vote that doesn’t matter…
I got a pile of bills…
I got no money…
I got some stress to spare…
I got books on how to be better…
I got music with nothing to say…
I got no cause to fight for…
I got a pasted on smile…
I got a fake laugh…
I got people that don’t care…
I got no man to bitch about…
I got no man to kiss…
I got no man to complain about my hair…
What I don’t got is you.
I got my life on post it notes stuffed in my purse…
I got my heart out for sale on ebay…
I got my attitude on t-shirts…
I got my brains in the computer…
I got a vote that doesn’t matter…
I got a pile of bills…
I got no money…
I got some stress to spare…
I got books on how to be better…
I got music with nothing to say…
I got no cause to fight for…
I got a pasted on smile…
I got a fake laugh…
I got people that don’t care…
I got no man to bitch about…
I got no man to kiss…
I got no man to complain about my hair…
What I don’t got is you.
Cheer up, life sucks, move on
Cheer up, life sucks, move on…
Turn the picture upside down
Tilt the vending machine your way
Fax your butt to the boss
And call it a day
There’s nothing like acting like you have nothing to lose
When you know in your heart
You just slammed the door on your own foot
So just say, “I can’t worry about that today”
Just walk away like it didn’t matter
Like your heart didn’t break
And say, “I don’t care any way”
Be happy, shit happens, move on…
Walk on the wild side
Take the roller coaster ride
Post your Ex’s naked pictures on the web
And you’re done for the day
There’s a feeling of being an idiot
That’s like being addicted to heroine
You just can’t lose when you don’t know you’re stupid
Ignorance is bliss
And Happiness is hard to find
So just say “Hey I am doing alright”
Just walk away without a fight
Agree with the majority
And just say, “Hey, I meant to do that anyway”
Like your pride wasn’t hurt
Turn the picture upside down
Tilt the vending machine your way
Fax your butt to the boss
And call it a day
There’s nothing like acting like you have nothing to lose
When you know in your heart
You just slammed the door on your own foot
So just say, “I can’t worry about that today”
Just walk away like it didn’t matter
Like your heart didn’t break
And say, “I don’t care any way”
Be happy, shit happens, move on…
Walk on the wild side
Take the roller coaster ride
Post your Ex’s naked pictures on the web
And you’re done for the day
There’s a feeling of being an idiot
That’s like being addicted to heroine
You just can’t lose when you don’t know you’re stupid
Ignorance is bliss
And Happiness is hard to find
So just say “Hey I am doing alright”
Just walk away without a fight
Agree with the majority
And just say, “Hey, I meant to do that anyway”
Like your pride wasn’t hurt
When I don't Feel Like Dancing
When I don’t feel like dancing
You’re always there
When I don’t feel like smiling
You show me you care
When I don’t feel like saying a word
You tell me it’s OK
When there is darkness
You are my light
When I am sad
You make me laugh
When I get angry
You calm me
There is nothing I can say or do
That would change how much you love me
I have tried, because of pride
To turn you away from me
There is nothing I can say or do
To stop you from loving me
When I don’t want to go another mile
You push me onward
When I don’t know what to say
You give me the words
When I can’t find the courage
You show me how to fight
When I am lost
You guide me
When I am confused
You simplify
When I cry
You dry my tears
There is nothing I can say or do
That would change how much you love me
I have tried, because of pride
To turn you away from me
There is nothing I can say or do
To stop you from loving me
You’re always there
When I don’t feel like smiling
You show me you care
When I don’t feel like saying a word
You tell me it’s OK
When there is darkness
You are my light
When I am sad
You make me laugh
When I get angry
You calm me
There is nothing I can say or do
That would change how much you love me
I have tried, because of pride
To turn you away from me
There is nothing I can say or do
To stop you from loving me
When I don’t want to go another mile
You push me onward
When I don’t know what to say
You give me the words
When I can’t find the courage
You show me how to fight
When I am lost
You guide me
When I am confused
You simplify
When I cry
You dry my tears
There is nothing I can say or do
That would change how much you love me
I have tried, because of pride
To turn you away from me
There is nothing I can say or do
To stop you from loving me
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
In Progress
i hear myself through others ears
i see myself through others eyes
i want to realize i'm not who i think i am
but i can't keep from picking myself apart
it's hard to stop once it starts
i can't pick the age from the years
it's all interconnected to my fears
please don't take what's on the outside
and assume it's what i see in my mind's eye
somewhere along the way i picked up shadows
and they magnify everything i hate about me
now i'm trying to grasp that i lie to myself
i see the way i keep myself off limits
it's all tied to my deepest committments
i am tuning into a new frequency
it's more upbeat and easy going
time is slow to catch me up
but i want to follow this new road
write a new map upon my torn soul
there are detours threatening my recovery
it's an apathy i can't control rolling over me
you seem to want to shake me up
you can't stomach my self pity
but you can't pick me up
i have to want to pick myself up off the floor
your patience will be tested
my growing confidence stressed
i see a list of sins confessed
the question i ask is can i change
when i've failed here so often
the door of change neglected
i need proper guidance
and a firm hand on my doubts
when going through the darkness
i'm merely a work in progress
i see myself through others eyes
i want to realize i'm not who i think i am
but i can't keep from picking myself apart
it's hard to stop once it starts
i can't pick the age from the years
it's all interconnected to my fears
please don't take what's on the outside
and assume it's what i see in my mind's eye
somewhere along the way i picked up shadows
and they magnify everything i hate about me
now i'm trying to grasp that i lie to myself
i see the way i keep myself off limits
it's all tied to my deepest committments
i am tuning into a new frequency
it's more upbeat and easy going
time is slow to catch me up
but i want to follow this new road
write a new map upon my torn soul
there are detours threatening my recovery
it's an apathy i can't control rolling over me
you seem to want to shake me up
you can't stomach my self pity
but you can't pick me up
i have to want to pick myself up off the floor
your patience will be tested
my growing confidence stressed
i see a list of sins confessed
the question i ask is can i change
when i've failed here so often
the door of change neglected
i need proper guidance
and a firm hand on my doubts
when going through the darkness
i'm merely a work in progress
Not Another Word Spoken
i can't think of any word that could describe the way i feel. labels are so useless when you're not sure who you are. i see how bad the world is and how bad i feel. reason without cause today is reason enough. i want more. why do we kill, why do we love, why do we hate, why do we touch. if there's so much pain in love why do we want it so badly.
so many thoughts on my mind, so many wishes in my heart, so many doubts linger on. i want things that will never be, but the wanting never leaves. is there salvation in damnation or do you just break even
i picked a road years ago and i still don't know where it leads but i drive on, if i go far enough i might cross your path and you might just be what i needed to find all the love i've ever wanted and i can give you all the love you've ever needed. a spark to ignite my fire. can you have both passion and love or is one enough to get you through
so many questions, so many anwers, never any connections, i wonder to my destruction and pause. can i love, am i capable enough, i can't take another broken heart. but if i quit trying i'll never win. i'll window shop and weigh all my options, but i know if i find you there won't be another word spoken.
so many thoughts on my mind, so many wishes in my heart, so many doubts linger on. i want things that will never be, but the wanting never leaves. is there salvation in damnation or do you just break even
i picked a road years ago and i still don't know where it leads but i drive on, if i go far enough i might cross your path and you might just be what i needed to find all the love i've ever wanted and i can give you all the love you've ever needed. a spark to ignite my fire. can you have both passion and love or is one enough to get you through
so many questions, so many anwers, never any connections, i wonder to my destruction and pause. can i love, am i capable enough, i can't take another broken heart. but if i quit trying i'll never win. i'll window shop and weigh all my options, but i know if i find you there won't be another word spoken.
Not Today
I sat with everyone else around your death bed today
I heard your struggled breathes
I watched your brief moments of consciousness
I heard my Daddy say that God didn’t answer any of his prayers
People say I’m one of those that believe in miracles, in hopes, and in dreams
But not today
Today all I smell on the air is death.
Today the sky is truly gray and a hard rain falls.
Today I am full of doubts.
I kissed your scabbed and bruised forehead that still bears the marks where they tried to cut the cancer out of you
In a year you went from a vibrant light to a dimmed shell of the woman I love.
I see the tears in my Daddy’s eyes as he struggles between falling apart and being strong.
People say I’m one of those that believe in miracles, in hopes, and in dreams
But not today.
Today all I see is her dying in a hospice bed.
Today all I see are the faces fighting back tears.
Today I can’t believe in anything.
God, I am losing faith in you.
I know all the prayers I prayed in your son’s name go unanswered.
Because if you’d heard me then she’d be better and cancer free
So right in this moment at my kitchen table I am heartbroken and
Too damn depressed to believe in anything.
Today it’s all mirrors, bibles, and lies.
So forgive me. Today I can’t pray. Not today. No, not today.
Because it hurts too much.
The power went out and all the lights went dark.
Today the darkness is all around us.
Today I’ve tucked away all my hopes and dreams.
Today there’s no point to believe.
Not today. No, not today. I have no faith today.
I heard your struggled breathes
I watched your brief moments of consciousness
I heard my Daddy say that God didn’t answer any of his prayers
People say I’m one of those that believe in miracles, in hopes, and in dreams
But not today
Today all I smell on the air is death.
Today the sky is truly gray and a hard rain falls.
Today I am full of doubts.
I kissed your scabbed and bruised forehead that still bears the marks where they tried to cut the cancer out of you
In a year you went from a vibrant light to a dimmed shell of the woman I love.
I see the tears in my Daddy’s eyes as he struggles between falling apart and being strong.
People say I’m one of those that believe in miracles, in hopes, and in dreams
But not today.
Today all I see is her dying in a hospice bed.
Today all I see are the faces fighting back tears.
Today I can’t believe in anything.
God, I am losing faith in you.
I know all the prayers I prayed in your son’s name go unanswered.
Because if you’d heard me then she’d be better and cancer free
So right in this moment at my kitchen table I am heartbroken and
Too damn depressed to believe in anything.
Today it’s all mirrors, bibles, and lies.
So forgive me. Today I can’t pray. Not today. No, not today.
Because it hurts too much.
The power went out and all the lights went dark.
Today the darkness is all around us.
Today I’ve tucked away all my hopes and dreams.
Today there’s no point to believe.
Not today. No, not today. I have no faith today.
Where Did You Go?
where'd u go
one minute ur there
then ur gone
i swear ur magic
i am the calm
ur my storm
i can't get u
to stay here
i want to love u
u want to play
heart's break this way
no one's here
they all go around me
i know they fear
i might talk and
say things they
don't want to hear
but u pulled me
out from these
doldrums and
u bring a smile
to my face
why not stay
be with me
heart's break this way
share ur love
share ur life
we'll be ok
it'll be alright
just come back
we can start
all over
be free to love
no holding back
just point the way
i'll find u
and we can get
under the covers
discover how much
we really love
each other
i miss u
more then i should
more then i thought
i ever would
where'd u go
r u coming back
don't leave me
i hate the silence
u r my antidote
darkness is my poison
shine ur light on me
and i'll hold u
tight love u
love u day n night
i'll never get sick
of you
stop teasing me
and tell me
where'd u go
this is how my heart breaks
one minute ur there
then ur gone
i swear ur magic
i am the calm
ur my storm
i can't get u
to stay here
i want to love u
u want to play
heart's break this way
no one's here
they all go around me
i know they fear
i might talk and
say things they
don't want to hear
but u pulled me
out from these
doldrums and
u bring a smile
to my face
why not stay
be with me
heart's break this way
share ur love
share ur life
we'll be ok
it'll be alright
just come back
we can start
all over
be free to love
no holding back
just point the way
i'll find u
and we can get
under the covers
discover how much
we really love
each other
i miss u
more then i should
more then i thought
i ever would
where'd u go
r u coming back
don't leave me
i hate the silence
u r my antidote
darkness is my poison
shine ur light on me
and i'll hold u
tight love u
love u day n night
i'll never get sick
of you
stop teasing me
and tell me
where'd u go
this is how my heart breaks
Day After
i'm working so hard to get you off my mind here i am staring out the window trying to force the clouds to not look like you. if this is letting go then what is holding on? i've got to severe this hold you have on me before it's the end of my love life
the day after you left me i screamed and i cried. i threw your stuff away and i ripped up all the pictures and i tried to burn the happy times up in flames. the day after i said i'm over you i'm still lonely.
i'm dating and dancing at the bars. drinking and eating myself merry,hoping tonight i'll fall in love with this guy named Mark and finally find the man to spend all my nights with for the rest of my life. it's all the hope i have now to believe i can love again.
the day after i sleep with Mark he won't call me. i start wondering why i set myself up for these things. he seemed to be the right guy but when you have such lonely eyes you see what you need and hear what hasn't been said. it's been too long and i need too much too soon. the day after i said i don't care anymore i'm still lonely.
is this how it's going to be, lonely and cold. lonely and old. i don't want to be desparate. the day after tomorrow i'll get out of bed and try to fall in love again. i can't stop trying to find my man.
the day after you left me i screamed and i cried. i threw your stuff away and i ripped up all the pictures and i tried to burn the happy times up in flames. the day after i said i'm over you i'm still lonely.
i'm dating and dancing at the bars. drinking and eating myself merry,hoping tonight i'll fall in love with this guy named Mark and finally find the man to spend all my nights with for the rest of my life. it's all the hope i have now to believe i can love again.
the day after i sleep with Mark he won't call me. i start wondering why i set myself up for these things. he seemed to be the right guy but when you have such lonely eyes you see what you need and hear what hasn't been said. it's been too long and i need too much too soon. the day after i said i don't care anymore i'm still lonely.
is this how it's going to be, lonely and cold. lonely and old. i don't want to be desparate. the day after tomorrow i'll get out of bed and try to fall in love again. i can't stop trying to find my man.
Party
cast out the demons with holy fire; leave the blood dripping from my eyes; bury me alive. catch my killer. i saw her in the reflection of the butcher knife. she looked just like me except her eyes. her eyes were wild and angry. she's bitter and hurt. she stabbed me 100 times in the heart until she collapsed from exhaustion.
life was supposed to be a party full of presents, cake and laughter. what i got i never thought of but here it is. my misery colors me blue. i'll sneek out the back door so y'all can get back to the party.
throw me to the sharks one piece at a time. the blood smells like burnt flesh sticky as it dries on my hands, i begin to understand. i'll never be safe from myself. one day i'll successfully kill me. only i could cut right through my heart with one stroke. i'm angry and hurt. i want to rip myself in two. let the happy and good me bury the depressed angry me alive so i can hear her scream until she dies.
life was supposed to be a party. but no one invited me. so i drink alone out back in the dark. i don't sleep. my blood shot eyes are making the world blurry. the pill bottles scattered around me. i'm sitting here just listening to y'all's happy party.
life was supposed to be a party full of presents, cake and laughter. what i got i never thought of but here it is. my misery colors me blue. i'll sneek out the back door so y'all can get back to the party.
throw me to the sharks one piece at a time. the blood smells like burnt flesh sticky as it dries on my hands, i begin to understand. i'll never be safe from myself. one day i'll successfully kill me. only i could cut right through my heart with one stroke. i'm angry and hurt. i want to rip myself in two. let the happy and good me bury the depressed angry me alive so i can hear her scream until she dies.
life was supposed to be a party. but no one invited me. so i drink alone out back in the dark. i don't sleep. my blood shot eyes are making the world blurry. the pill bottles scattered around me. i'm sitting here just listening to y'all's happy party.
Gabrielle, My One True Love
see the blue sky above you. see the horizon layed out ahead of you. there's no shadows to scare you away. feel with your heart. find a life of your own. i packed your angel's wings and all my love to see you through the hard times. never forget you're destined for greatness.
my only true love. you're the only one i'd turn around for. i've built into you strength and compassion. here's an envelope filled full with hugs and kisses. freedom's calling out to you. step out and into your future.
see all those doors open to you. see the possibilities layed out at your feet. you don't need a safety net. i've given you all you need to jump right into life. i won't push you. but i refuse to hold you back. you are what the world needs. never forget you're destined for greatness.
my only true love. there's nothing i wouldn't do for you, but every mother knows a day comes when we have to let go. fly high. never doubt your intuition. here's some letters i wrote to you when you were little. if you get lonely they'll keep me near. freedom's calling out to you. step out and into your future.
my beloved only child, my light, my muse, my miracle, Gabrielle, i believe in you
my only true love. you're the only one i'd turn around for. i've built into you strength and compassion. here's an envelope filled full with hugs and kisses. freedom's calling out to you. step out and into your future.
see all those doors open to you. see the possibilities layed out at your feet. you don't need a safety net. i've given you all you need to jump right into life. i won't push you. but i refuse to hold you back. you are what the world needs. never forget you're destined for greatness.
my only true love. there's nothing i wouldn't do for you, but every mother knows a day comes when we have to let go. fly high. never doubt your intuition. here's some letters i wrote to you when you were little. if you get lonely they'll keep me near. freedom's calling out to you. step out and into your future.
my beloved only child, my light, my muse, my miracle, Gabrielle, i believe in you
Fast Paced
i'm in the fast lane of the love highway
no time to pull over to the rest area
i have a biological clock deadline to meet
and mr. right is running late
i'm feeling down and out but i hope
you were going to be the one to win the race
i can't get ahead in this fast paced love
we are surrounded with today
i met him on myspace. we chatted.
we met. we kissed. he wanted to hit the sack.
i said slow down, jack. i want more then that.
three months later he still avoids me online
i just can't catch a ride on this fast paced
love ride.
i tried the match makers.
i've been to at least 50 bars.
i'm no size six and i'm not looking for the
perfect 10. just a man that i can
relate to and laugh with.
i need some directions to find him
and map quest shows the quickest route
but i always miss out in this fast paced love.
i'll never be in the winner's circle.
i ran down the aisle. i wish i'd been
stopped and given a citation.
maybe then i would have realized
there's no way you can keep up
with the fast paced love that's
being mapped out today.
no time to pull over to the rest area
i have a biological clock deadline to meet
and mr. right is running late
i'm feeling down and out but i hope
you were going to be the one to win the race
i can't get ahead in this fast paced love
we are surrounded with today
i met him on myspace. we chatted.
we met. we kissed. he wanted to hit the sack.
i said slow down, jack. i want more then that.
three months later he still avoids me online
i just can't catch a ride on this fast paced
love ride.
i tried the match makers.
i've been to at least 50 bars.
i'm no size six and i'm not looking for the
perfect 10. just a man that i can
relate to and laugh with.
i need some directions to find him
and map quest shows the quickest route
but i always miss out in this fast paced love.
i'll never be in the winner's circle.
i ran down the aisle. i wish i'd been
stopped and given a citation.
maybe then i would have realized
there's no way you can keep up
with the fast paced love that's
being mapped out today.
A Friend Named Angel
i once had a friend named angel
she could be sweet as heaven
she ended up being the devil
i met my daughter's father
hanging out with her
i told her everything about me
even what i didn't know
she turned on me and i was lost
the sweetest angel in heaven
versus the angel i knew
the bloody battle would draw
a crowd of gawkers
but i know who has lost and who has won
i have my baby and that's all that matters
the games we play some enjoy more then others
that laugh and smile angel had
charmed so many until they were blinded
i was one but the glass shattered
when she told so many lies about me
there was no truth for her to uphold
i was happy and she wasn't
that's all the motive she required
to spread her poison from ear to ear
i once had a friend named angel
she could be sweet as heaven
she ended up being the devil.
she could be sweet as heaven
she ended up being the devil
i met my daughter's father
hanging out with her
i told her everything about me
even what i didn't know
she turned on me and i was lost
the sweetest angel in heaven
versus the angel i knew
the bloody battle would draw
a crowd of gawkers
but i know who has lost and who has won
i have my baby and that's all that matters
the games we play some enjoy more then others
that laugh and smile angel had
charmed so many until they were blinded
i was one but the glass shattered
when she told so many lies about me
there was no truth for her to uphold
i was happy and she wasn't
that's all the motive she required
to spread her poison from ear to ear
i once had a friend named angel
she could be sweet as heaven
she ended up being the devil.
Let's Take a Drive
emotional angst of your memory drives my insanity
the stone cold landscape of my brain is scenic and serene
seldom is the dirt disturbed, because 99% of it isn't used
but tonight i yearn to see the back roads of home
to cruise under the stars and to see your smile
let's take a drive down memory lane
i see you now but i didn't see you then
you saw me then but you don't see me now
i'd call us meant to be,but that would just be me
pretending my life could have a happy ending
i took so many detours away from home
i ended up in a cozy circle
where i'm suffocating from my own emissions
i'd love to go backwards back to that
one moment i'd love to lean in and kiss you
but if i did that then maybe i'd lose her
and that would be worse then losing you
since i never had you to lose
i turned right toward the horizon
my foot all the way down on the gas pedal
you stayed parked near home
never driving too far from where you belonged
i hydroplaned through life looking for love
when i could have made a u-turn back to you all along
it's been too many left turns to make this right
but when i close my eyes tonight
i'll drive as fast as i can back to you so you can hold me tight
the stone cold landscape of my brain is scenic and serene
seldom is the dirt disturbed, because 99% of it isn't used
but tonight i yearn to see the back roads of home
to cruise under the stars and to see your smile
let's take a drive down memory lane
i see you now but i didn't see you then
you saw me then but you don't see me now
i'd call us meant to be,but that would just be me
pretending my life could have a happy ending
i took so many detours away from home
i ended up in a cozy circle
where i'm suffocating from my own emissions
i'd love to go backwards back to that
one moment i'd love to lean in and kiss you
but if i did that then maybe i'd lose her
and that would be worse then losing you
since i never had you to lose
i turned right toward the horizon
my foot all the way down on the gas pedal
you stayed parked near home
never driving too far from where you belonged
i hydroplaned through life looking for love
when i could have made a u-turn back to you all along
it's been too many left turns to make this right
but when i close my eyes tonight
i'll drive as fast as i can back to you so you can hold me tight
Monday, November 16, 2009
One Breath
when ur drunk and skating on thin ice
when ur watching a broken clock not tick or tock
when ur listening to patty griffin and bright eyes
when ur so down even hell seems a step up
when ur wishing you had someone to hold
that's when u know ur a breathe away from nothing
when ur stoned and writing pathetic lyrics
when ur only connection to the world is the internet
when ur singing to the songs that only exist in ur head
when ur so far gone u can't hear the call home
when ur wishing you'd never let him go
that's when u know ur a breathe away from nothing
when ur crying and trying to hang on
when ur hoping and praying for a sign to go on
when ur saying life is just too hard
when ur thinking all those pills can make it better
when ur wishing u had made a million different choices
that's when u know ur a breathe away from nothing
when ur husband leaves you
when ur fired from your job
when ur kid tells you your a loser
when ur own father looks at u so disappointed
when ur no longer in control
that's when u know ur a breathe away from nothing
when ur watching a broken clock not tick or tock
when ur listening to patty griffin and bright eyes
when ur so down even hell seems a step up
when ur wishing you had someone to hold
that's when u know ur a breathe away from nothing
when ur stoned and writing pathetic lyrics
when ur only connection to the world is the internet
when ur singing to the songs that only exist in ur head
when ur so far gone u can't hear the call home
when ur wishing you'd never let him go
that's when u know ur a breathe away from nothing
when ur crying and trying to hang on
when ur hoping and praying for a sign to go on
when ur saying life is just too hard
when ur thinking all those pills can make it better
when ur wishing u had made a million different choices
that's when u know ur a breathe away from nothing
when ur husband leaves you
when ur fired from your job
when ur kid tells you your a loser
when ur own father looks at u so disappointed
when ur no longer in control
that's when u know ur a breathe away from nothing
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