Big Bad Wolf

sunsets come and go
contagious diseases spread rapidly
obvious choices get ignored
time settles everyone down
tomorrow you don't want to wake up alone

girls become women you can't trust
emptiness follows your every step
reasons no longer add up
all your houses got blown down
love has become your big bad wolf
demons have replaced your dreams

calluses have formed over your heart
openess is a concept you forgot
utopia is a woman too desperate to ask questions
little by little the world folds in on you
ominous clouds are rolling in
misery is calling you in the middle of the night
beware the woman that loves you with all her might
everyone screws up, you just screw everyone

Drink It Away

i abandoned my pants in the hallway;
the contents of my stomach are in the toilet.
my body is trying to get this poison out of me, but i don't quit.
i want the alcohol to bring me oblivion.
i'm going to drink it away.

the thoughts slow down to one at a time.
my mind is wrapped up in a warm fog.
i see but i don't feel.
i take another shot to kill all the pain i got.
i'm going to drink it away.

the days and nights pass me by in a haze.
my compulsions to touch you are buried under booze.
if i begin to move, i pour one more.
one day i won't need this crutch.
one day i'll drink away the memory of your touch.

you are all i think about.
you are consuming me.
you told me i hurt you, but you hurt me too.
we were pure, but i always feel dirty.
i got jealous and tired of being runner up to her.
i'm going to drink it away.

this rejection burns as i swallow another one down.
my desire's flame is being doused by the whiskey's sting.
why'd i let you in because now i can't get you out.
i feel like i'm bleeding to death.
life is love and love is pain.
i will drink it away!

Be the One

be the one to show me the way, make my day.
my love is fragile; i'm running on empty.
do you know how to fix a broken hearted soul?
please tell me you understand and give me one more chance.
all i need is one more chance to love someone.

be the one to show me the way, make my day.
my soul is bitter; i'm sick of being alone.
can you help me find my happiness inside the coldness?
please say you've been here too and love me.
all i need is for you to love me.

be what you are, my beacon of hope.
be who i see, my soul mate.
be everything to me, my lover and best friend.
be the one to show me the way.
come on baby, make my day.
i know you're the one, please make my day!

Heat in a Moment

it's a dark night, stars and moon are out of sight.
our cooling bodies entangled in the sheets.
the distant worries begin to accumulate.
life is altered from how we've known it.
all in the transfer of our body heat in a moment.
the passion ripples inside our bodies but my heart is unmoved.

i waited years to touch and kiss you.
i wanted you for so long i had almost quit,
but events unfolded like a treasure map.
you were led to me and i embraced you.
i'm not one to think things through
and now that our heat in a moment is at an end...

it's quiet as we lay side by side staring up at the ceiling.
the house could be on burning down and we wouldn't move.
the magic spell of passion's heat in a moment has been broken.
we both are wondering where do we go from here!

this adventure wasn't as fulfilling as i had dreamnt.
i built this moment up in my fantasies and reality tore it down.
my attention span has been redirected and you haven't even left my bed.
as the night slowly turns into day, this heat in a moment fades away.

i'm running like i always do, until another man catches my eye.
i love having a new one to pursue.
the chase is the heat that builds slowly before it ignites me.
one day i'll stop and regret all the love i've let pass me by,
but now i have to tell you good bye.
there's this really good looking guy i want to try!

It Hurts

my life has been swallowed by my fantasies.
i don't want to be brave.
i want to run!
i want to hide!
life has become a burden.
i want to escape reality and it hurts.

i wonder throughout the sterile hallways of my brain.
i continue to search for my happiness, but it hurts.
i've closed off my emotions.
i can't afford the luxury of falling in love and it hurts.

my hopes rise too easily and my hopes burn out too quickly.
i have 100% turn around.
i know my life wasn't always a merry-go-round of pain.
i can't rewind me and it hurts.

i want him to want to be with me.
i shouldn't have to beg, lie, or plea.
i see his light and i'm greedy.
i want to be in his spotlight, but that's not what we are.
he's not that into me and it hurts.

my destiny has to be more then lying around in my PJ's all day.
i swear i'm beginning to understand what the dog is saying.
i'm all alone and it hurts.
my world is shrinking and it hurts.

No More Hugs

akward glances meet nonchalant shrugs, it means no more hugs.
my thoughts linger on the marlboro taste of your kisses.
if i could paint the perfect picture of us i'd paint you nuzzling my breasts.
destitute and desperate, i bet the rest of my love on you.
life keeps showing me there's no such thing as a sure bet,
but my heart refused to believe and we fell for your charms still.

i see the trajectory of your wants like a bullet from a gun.
you ripped through me and continued on with your fun.
there never was any talk of love, just chemical infused suggestions.
if pain feels this good then hurt me some more.
i'm a glutton for you punishments and adore being your whore.

pluck away on my heartstrings, i can't feel their pull anymore.
i'd slash your big hoss tires i could see your fire once more.
the only way i vibrate is when you shake me to my core.
all of this has become an anti-thesis of a bore.

the myopic lullabye of my obsession plays on in my head.
i hum along to your memory as i masterbate myself to sleep.
my flesh and blood has trapped our sin between my ears.
my pride never existed when you were by my side,
but i'd die a thousand times just to taste your cum one more time.

epic love stories like romeo and juliet can't be wrong.
love is the truest when everyone else thinks it doesn't belong.
the poison is the lust that makes the rest of our lives lose its luster.
we shift into overdrive to capture the thrill of life.
only when you and i come together do we get back into the vibe.
my weakness is your touch, i need you to glow!

Far Flung Angel

tossed aside like a worn out rag doll,
i wanted you to kiss away my tears.
all my life i danced to the tune of my fears.
i see the end of the road and i'm not liking it!
the collision is destined and i have to live with that.

God threw me out into the world;
blonde and grey eyed, daddy's little angel;
one mistake followed by another,
it all adds up to me being a nervous wreck.
i pray to God for some relief,
but this far flung angel is out of His reach!

tell me the truth, i know it'll hurt.
i've sugar coated my faults and now no one recognizes me including me.
i wrote it all down in an emergency suicide note,
but i'll never kill myself,
but one day i'll destroy myself.

little girls are supposed to be sugar and spice and everything nice,
but i'm just crazy with rotten habits i can't break.
mommy's little angel lives life to the hilt.
my halo's broken and my wings are torn.
God has forgotten this far flung angel He used to adore.

i wish upon a planet.
my wishes are too big for the stars.
i want silence inside my head and peace within my heart.
i don't know where to start.
i saw the world in black and white,
but now i'm so far out i can't find the light.

dear God,
i'm off course.
i've flung myself upon the mercy of sin
and you can see what bad shape i am in.
please forgive this far flung angel and let me back in!

Here We Go

hearts, stars and butterflies entangle in the first crush;
the sudden rush of awareness between boy and girl.
that first catch of breath,
the speeding of their hearts.
the sudden urge to grab hold of another person
and press lips to lips;
not understanding fully the risk of heartache.
only feeling pure raw passion coarsing through your body,
like a lightening bolt that's jolted you from head to toe.
hold on,
hold on,
here we go...

Incomplete

i ask you to marry me in one sentence
and downplay it as jest in the next,
but if my heart could shout
it would cry out for you to be my man!

i'm right here, but you don't see me.
i'd love to expand the world's population with you.
your shaved head, goatee, and hazel eyes have me mesmerized.
how do i take control with you when i've never had it before?

i don't want a phone smarter then me.
caves, bungee jumps, and roller coasters don't call out to me.
the adventure i seek drinks his whiskey neat.
he doesn't cut corners, is borderline ocd, and eats meat.

promises haven't been exchanged.
we make out and dry hump regularly.
the build up to something more has fizzled out.
my mental images are the only ones getting off.

i love chocolate, the color yellow, and daffodils.
i hate clowns, death, and people who mock me.
what i know about scott can't complete this sentence.
he camps, off roads certain vehicles, and loves at least 1 of his 7 children.

my file on him is as incomplete as this poem.
i think we'd set the world on fire together.
our demons can throw one hell of a party.
little petey and i could meet daily.

let's talk about our feelings.
undo the damage done by years of neglect.
i'll take your hand and understand.
i'll love all of you and not just the parts i like.

you're a whole person, both good and bad.
i want to know it all.
please show me every part of your personality.
i know it's more complicated then i think.

i'm not here to save you or fix you.
you don't need that from me.
i accept you just the way you are.
you're beautiful to me.

but you never gave me a chance to love you.
this romance was all happenstance.
now you get a faux happy ending with her
and i'm left alone and incomplete!

Button

he should be angry but he's not.
i should've found a button to push by now, but i've not.
he's unpredictable and it's freaking me out.
he zigs when i zag.
he'd driving me mad!

desire flares my nostrils and dilates my pupils.
physically he provokes uncontrollable responses from me.
emotionally he confuses the fuck out of me.
i can't figure him out.
maybe he's playing me, but i got to find out.

he says one thing and does another.
i say i'm done, but i can't walk away.
he's never what i expect him to be.
he brings out every side of me.
he's always one step ahead of me!

happiness makes me smile and laugh.
cosmically he makes me feel alive again.
mentally we're acting like teenagers.
i'm unable to process all these emotions.
maybe it's time to run!

Melody for My Misery

i'll go emily dickinson on you;
lock myself up in my room and wear only white.
let the neighborhood children whisper about me while all i do is write.
i'll hear their laughter and use it as melody for my misery.
these poems will lay about scattered around the house until i die.
all my quirks, madness and antidotes will spread like a virus through cyber air.
these dreams i dare to dare.

i might work up the nerve to sylvia plath myself one day.
there's no expectations to live up to so i just play.
i amuse myself for hours staring at the ceiling or counting imaginary wild flowers.
life feeds off of power.
i gave mine to you, so now i wait for death like a coward.
please someone see me.
please come and get me.

i miss being human.
every door is locked.
every watch has stopped.
my windows are shuttered.
i sit and rot within my brain full of clutter.
maybe i could capture my inner poe.
i feel subtle rage when i stub my big toe.
the darkness swills down my throat.
i swallow hard so i don't choke.
bird's scare me and words fear me;
this will be my never more ending...
pity, pity, pity me!

Every Minute

for every minute i'm up there's 10 that i'm down,
but i hide the sad from you.
your wants supercede mine.
i drift away into impossible thoughts.
knowledge cripples my emotions.
i would abandon reason to be your friend.

our bridge is barely standing.
i keep chipping away at its foundation.
the urge to blow us all to hell tackles me to the ground.
destruction makes me feel.
i don't deserve to be close to you.

you aren't responsible for me.
we were two limbidos doing a vertical limbo.
you can let go because you never held on.
we'll never know how high we could've gone.
i imploded from arguments we only had in my head.
there's a thousands of words i heard that you never said.

crazier things happen every day.
why can't you be with me?
obstacles are meant to be overcome.
there's never still water in your heart.
i'm too unique and hard to forget.
i leave an imprint.

for every minute i spend without you there's 10 i'm wanting to hold you,
but i hide the love from you.
your dreams trump mine.
i build you up in my fantasies.
obsession takes over all logic.
i would kill her to keep you here with me till the end.

Green-Eyed Monster

i wish i was the center of your universe.
our paths must have traversed for a purpose.
this can't be our swan song.
the hollow echo of our unfulfilled potential rings over & over in my ears!

your hazel eyes beckon me to kiss you.
our fluids have been swapped and made a glorious mess.
now it's akward, this sudden breakdown of talk.
let's focus on what we do best with our tongues and hands.
emotional connections can't be tested if they don't exist.

your world collided into my wan existence.
you can't walk away after you change everything.
i don't know what makes you tick,
but when we're together it just clicks.
lies are okay if it all ends up the way i want.
it's not the journey but the destination that matters in this fight.

i'm tempted to go super nova on your life, but i still want to hold you.
i'm conflicted between vengeance and desire.
if i could have both, true satisfaction would be mine.
i know you say mean things about me.
i hear you've been talking trash.
i thought you were better then that.

i've managed to keep my green-eyed monster locked away,
but the door's shaking and i can hear it roar.
i don't know how much longer it can be ignored.
this urge i have to reap what you've sown.
to kill every dream you have in your heart.

make your choices wisely.
choose your next words carefully.
because once this thing gets started i can't stop it;
the green-eyed monster in me will devour you and your world
and we will both get torn apart!

Every Screw

i'm gonna climb the highest mountain and catch a ride on a shooting star.
i'm going to ride it until it falls.
i'll take this high until i crash and burn.
up i go with no safety net,
no hopes or dreams to catch,
i'll never accept i can shine.

bring me a piece of the sun.
close out this darkness.
hold onto your criticims.
i don't need an activist.
i won't reject you if you'll let me go.

i lost it back there.
i keep climbing stairs to nowhere.
my heart is smoking a special blend of fears.

the devil told me God didn't want me,
but yesterday i saw an angel smiling at me.
somewhere between my destruction and my salvation is where i can find what i need.

buy me a teflon soul.
let my nervous system reboot.
i didn't need a preacher.
your opinions are freely given,
but cost me all i hold dear.

i'm dancing across our history.
i feel like newly fallen snow my dog just shit on.
you never could let me slide.
you got to tighten every screw in my mind.

i can't forget the seeds you plant.
i got my weed whacker in shot glasses.
i'll cure this afflication until it kills you in my reflections.

i say crazy things and i mean them.
i deal in quantum madness.
multiply me by my infinite sadness.
the blackhole i've swallowed is turning me into you.
God forbid if there are two!

The Love They Got

you won't find my heart in the high priced aisle's;
it's stuck in the back, marked down, got to go,
almost free & it don't even got to be to a good home.
i watch the people pass me by
and i wonder if i'm too tattered and torn
to ever get the love they got.

i went fishing for a committment
using a baby as the bait.
my uterus let me down.
now i don't have a shot in hell of keeping
either man from running away from me as fast as they can.

you won't see my soul singing hymns up in heaven.
it'll be dancing in hell fire, almost burnt beyond recognition,
numb to the pain, and smoldering with sin.
i watch the righteous on the tv
and i know i'm too broken and forlorn
to ever get God's love like they got.

i filled my head up with happy endings.
i was giving my love away like it didn't hurt me in any way.
my hopes of someone falling in love with me
has every one laughing at me behind my back.
you won't see me out begging.
the love they got i don't want it anymore!

My Lost Hope

you were a hope i never got to hold.
this morning my world came apart.
my heart has frozen solid and stopped.
this is how it feels to lose a child.
i never got to see you born.
God gave me the possibility of you,
but then God took away the reality of you.

i still have the booties and the sleeper.
i'm trying to wrap my mind around not being able to keep you.
i'm devastated and hurting.
the physical pain will fade as you bleed out of me,
but the sorrow i feel will never fade.
i'm sorry i wasn't able to stop you from leaving.

i've been reassured this isn't my fault,
but i feel as if i'm being punished by God.
i don't even know if you were a boy or a girl.
my lost hope, i love you still.
i feel literally empty without you.
i'm the only one who wanted you.
i would've cherished and adored you.
my little angel, rest in heaven now,
i will always miss you.

Eye Candy

my heart's enlarged with love.
i want to pour it out all over you.
i want to pour my love all over, all over, all over you.

i'm a true soul which is better then those women that fly past you in the night.
i'm reaching out to you, but you won't let me get to you.
the eye candy you chase after can't fill up those holes inside of you.
let me heal your shattered soul and make you whole.

i know i'm not as appetising as the eye candy surrounding you,but my love is honest.
can any of them say that to you?
can they love you for you?
are they able to see the fragile human being that hurts like i do, like i do?

i've been burnt like you, but i still try to find love and i've found you.
isnt' that enough?
i want to help you get back to a better place.
i want to hold onto you until our heart's beat as one.
i'm the one that can make it all better, all better for you.

i'm not easy and i see easier tempting you, but that high won't last long.
underneath her pretty lies a hollow heart, she can't help you.
i'm not a ten but you are only 10 percent a person.
together we can make peace in each other's souls.
let me give you all my love.
let me, let me, let me love you.

you're not sure if what people say to you is the truth.
you're afraid of being used and i can't disagree.
life without love just isn't real.
please take this chance i'm offering you to feel something true.
let's jump into love together.
together we can find happiness.

my heart's enlarged with love.
i want to pour it all over you.
i want to pour my love all over, all over, all over you.